Film Threat archive logo


By Rory L. Aronsky | February 9, 2005

With the “Episode III” teaser having been pored over by Star Wars fans for some time now, N.T. Bullock steps up to the plate with his own, longer version that addresses all the questions and desires harbored not only by fans, but for those who want this entire filmic empire to shrivel up and die already. Here, in this hilarious take on all things Star Wars that’s sure to last as long as Lucas’ financial benefits, Bullock and his band of creative cohorts pointedly address Hayden Christensen’s wooden performance as Anakin, as well as give us what thousands have obsessively dreamed of: The demise of Jar-Jar.

This is “Episode III” as you’ll never see it, including what it takes for Amidala to find out if she’s pregnant. Plus, the naming of the Death Star takes a while, though there is a great name among that list: Giant Hurt Ball. It would have been as good or even better than the Death Star, because it doesn’t detract from the purpose of that weakling of a weapons system, and it’s more fun for everyone. I wouldn’t mind working aboard a Giant Hurt Ball. Come to think of it, I attend classes at one during the week.

Everything obvious about this final chapter is shown no sympathy, no mercy, and has no way out. This group’s got it down. If you plan to stand in line soon for tickets to the final Star Wars saga, take a laptop and “A Lost Hope” with you. Forget the Star Wars films on DVD, and play this for all whom are standing with you. For those that aren’t, watch this you must. Near-death laughing pleasure you will have.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join our Film Threat Newsletter

Newsletter Icon