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SIMON COWELL LIVES TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY

By Michael Ferraro | April 20, 2007

And so does American Idol.

“Is he writing a blog about Simon Cowell?”

Yes, yes I am. I know some of you fine Threat readers are fans of American Idol. And though I haven’t quite figured out why you (or the millions of other people) actually like and defend the show, I thought I’d address an event that happened on an episode a few days ago. Also, you should know, I didn’t actually watch the episode. I just read about it right here.

Sanjaya Malakar was voted off the show the show the other day. What does that mean to us? Many of us fellow Earthlings had a dream. It all began with a quote from Simon Cowell, infamous (talentless) American Idol judge who entertains millions of fans each week by recycling the same un-funny remarks week after week, proclaiming he would be done with the show and that soon after if Sanjaya actually won. Then the show would probably just end.

sanjaya_malakar.jpg

In my world, that’s like waking up to a world where racism no longer exists and hunger is no longer a problem.

But why do you hate it so much?

It’s a show dedicated to showcasing lazy future popstars. What’s to like again?

But dude, some of these people can’t sing, it’s so funny! Lol, rofl, and lmao!

If I wanted to hear people who can’t sing, I’d buy a record on the Billboard Top 20. Not to say that everything on the Billboard Charts is lame (yeah, I own a couple Norah Jones records, suck it) but there is enough there to work with as far as the suck department is concerned.

Then this week came. As if there wasn’t enough horrific news going on already, and even with the support of an army of Howard Stern fans, Sanjaya still got the boot. I guess I shouldn’t even call into question how certain American Idol producers confirmed, “Sanjaya will never win.”

Sounds like a rigged game to me, Nurse Ratched.

-M

I would also like to take this time and apologize to the few of you who asked me where my exciting drawings have gone. Truth is, I no longer have a PC, which had the program “Paint” on it. I have Illustrator, I just haven’t figured out how to use it yet. If any of you are masters, feel free to help a brother out.

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  1. DonLewis says:

    I’m with Lynda, Ido is a slap in the face to the thousands of bands working their a***s off only to see some fly by night jackass who looks good on TV swoop up national publicity. It’s not fair and not only that, it continues to perpetuate the dumbing down of America and the film/TV/music industry.

  2. Rory L. Aronsky says:

    Sounds like Lilly Rose is a publicist for Fox or Idol.

  3. Felix Vasquez Jr. says:

    Finally, where do you get off judging a show you supposedly don’t watch?

    I saw half of the first season and couldnt take it anymore.

    It’s a stylized over blown glorified karaoke contest. It’s the exact f*****g thing, except instead drunks getting a ten dollar prize, it’s talentless s**t for brains being praised for doing nothing but karaoke.

    You are probably a closet watcher, trying to maintain the image of being some kind of profound intellect.

    Bullshit. American Idol fans have no intellect.

  4. Lynda says:

    I think American idol undermines the music industry in general. Contestants like Sanjaya, William Hung, and other poor, clueless, non-talent saps are humiliating themselves in the public eye, and they don’t even know it. American Idol is a joke.

    I had the fortunate or un-fortunate opportunity, whichever way you look at it, of working on the show during Season 4. I witnessed producers making every effort to make contestants look foolish in front of the camera.

    I never watched the show before or AFTER. I refuse to allow my brain to consume or engage in the garbage it spews. No thanks. I’ll stick with shows like “The offfice” and “scrubs”. At least I’ll learn some kind of new medical term or discover a new illness on “scrubs”. 🙂

  5. Michael Ferraro says:

    Yes, I listen to bands like NOFX. Did you not read my Norah Jones statement? Or are you just one of those Idol-supporting fucks out to change the minds of those of us who can’t stand a f*****g minute of it.

    Closet watcher? Yes, I say hate things but behind closed doors, I set my DVR to that show. Sadly, I’ve been around fans of the show and had to sit through an episode or two. How else could I come to such a conclusion?

    Fantasia has talent? That fat dude has talent? Of course they do, if you enjoy the musical stylings of the talentless. And f*****g remember, this is the same show that s**t out William Hung.

    “But that’s only one rotten apple dude.”

    That’s one too many.

  6. Lilly Rose says:

    First of all millions of people like American Idol because it is entertaining and contrary to your opinion, many of the contestants in years past have talent. I am sure you would not recognize talent since you probably listen to bands like NOFX. Finally, where do you get off judging a show you supposedly don’t watch? You are probably a closet watcher, trying to maintain the image of being some kind of profound intellect. You are nothing more than a naysayer on all things mainstream and we can all see through your facade!

  7. Felix Vasquez Jr. says:

    yeah, I own a couple Norah Jones records, suck it

    Excuse me, Norah Jones rocks.

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