By Merle Bertrand | March 28, 2003

The first obvious question that springs to mind when viewing Andrew Kolker and Louis Alvarez’ hysterical yet informative documentary “Sex: Female,” is “How the hell did two middle aged guys get all these women to speak so openly and candidly about sex in front of a video camera and thus ultimately millions of viewers. The answer, surprisingly, did not involve massive amounts of alcohol, but rather the female persuasion’s seemingly inherent willingness, even eagerness, to talk about sex in all its intimate and squishy details. As such, it’s highly unlikely that a companion piece called “Sex: Male” will ever appear…(and if it did, it’d probably only be about three minutes long.)
That’s because men would, to generalize, NEVER talk on camera about the inner workings of their sexual organs or admit in front of their sons how — and how often — they m********e. If you don’t believe me, raise your hand if you haven’t heard a Bob Dole erectile dysfunction joke or snickered at NASCAR driver Mark Martin’s Viagra-sponsored Ford. Uh, huh. Thought so.
Yet the women in this film, women of all ages, shapes, creeds, religions, nationalities and sexual orientations, gush sex talk the way men talk football. Surprisingly, these talking heads provide almost enough entertainment on their own, but Alvarez and Kolker liven up the proceedings further by skillfully mixing in archival movie clips, quotes and still photos, all set to a soundtrack that perfectly backs up the topic at hand.
“Sex: Female” is a great party film made by men for both women and men, and both will find the film immensely entertaining. The difference is, these women are preaching to the choir when it comes to their female audience, as those viewers will wink and nod knowingly. The men will chuckle and really, really mean to watch and learn, but in the end, we’ll merely reach for another slice of pizza and talk football.
Which is why “Sex: Female” will never gain a testosterone counterpart.

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