By Felix Vasquez Jr. | February 24, 2008

If you saw the live cam with Mark and Chris during the Oscars, then man, what fun you missed out on. Those two are seriously goof balls, and I pity anyone who missed Chris butchering the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Ramones, and Sabbath. And Mark mocking the awards were funny too; the “Methusulah” comment inspired a giggle. There was a point where the show became so boring we (all three of us chatting) were watching the two guys playing “Rock Star” more than the actual show.

Anyway, you have to appreciate the weirdness of the Oscar Ceremony this year. And since I like to categorize and list everything:

Weirdest moment/s:
Everyone tripping going to the podium. Am I the only one who noticed everyone slipping a little on the way up to the stage?

Oddest presentor:
Miley Cyrus? For a second I was wondering if I was completely off. Was she nominated? Was she performing a song? Nah, she was just there to gauge the young audiences and ratings. Enjoy the moment, you won’t be there for “Best of Both Worlds.”

Moment of the night:
Host Stewart insisted it was Bardem, but when he called Markéta Irglová back up to the podium to give her speech after being very rudely interrupted during the acceptance speech for “Falling Slowly”? Well sir, that was the best moment of the night, and classy all the way. I still say if they cut down the montages, they could have longer acceptance speeches and people like Marketa could have their moment. And “Falling Slowly” deserved the win. That song gets me every time.

Having More Fun than We Were?
Amy Adams. Did it seem this woman was having much more fun than we were the entire time? She seemed very giggly and bubbly. Maybe it’s because she was probably back stage drinking the whole time. And Jon Stewart was great this year. Sardonic, graceful, and funny. He was much better than safe inoffensive Ellen Degeneres.

Best feigning of interest:
Barbara Walters during her annual pre-awards special interviewing Miley Cyrus. The girl rambled on and on and on, and Walters persisted with her interested nod. Good for her. Why was she so important? Oh right… ratings.

Marion Cotillard for Best Actress. Granted, she was good, but I really expected Julie Christie to win. I also voted for Ellen Page, which was a long shot, but still, there’s always hope. It’s not your time yet doll face, you’ll get there. Chris Gore was probably being sarcastic, but I voted for her too, man.

Final Tally:
Only a few good guesses this year as always. I lied, I know, but hey, I thought I had it all pegged and voted on what I felt the Academy would peg, and while it was off to a good start, it all went downhill. Though I did call the final categories.

I hate them. I hate them in movies. I hate them in awards shows. Montages of the best actress winners of all time before presenting best actress. Right, that’s with a point. Cut the number down to two or three and be done with it. However the spoofing of meaningless montages that went on to the typical meaningless montages was a great bit of irony.

Obvious but…
Diablo Cody’s acceptance speech. Sorry, but the woman is pretty damn good looking even if her writing is hit or miss. We all saw it coming.

Well deserved:
Javier Bardem, the Coen Brothers, No Country, Daniel Day Lewis.

Final Word:
This is honestly the first time in years I lost patience in the halfway mark and began getting angry. I was bored. Not as bored as last year, but bored still. I bitch, but I’ll be watching next year. And you will too, just to say it sucked and pretend you’re above it. Don’t pretend.

Until next year…

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  1. You forgot Mark singing the names of the dead during the Dead People’s Scroll as if he was part of a South Park chorus. That was classic.

  2. Climbing the side of the Kodak Theater proclaiming herself Shiva Goddess of Death.

  3. Jeremy Knox says:

    I didn’t watch it at all. There’s a kind of somber pomposity to the proceedings that turn me off every time. Where’s Sean Young when you need her?

  4. Indeed. I’m very glad those movies got their due.

  5. Nathaniel says:

    One more thing, I’m glad the Weinsteins left Miramax or No Country for Old men and There Will Be Blood may have been on the shelf forever.

  6. I personally don’t blame you Phil. I became drowsy by the time ten o’clock rolled around.

    Nathaniel, I have to dare to disagree and say that I thought the Independent Spirit Awards were excruciating. I thought Wilson was embarrassing, and the speeches were rambling. However, Page as Best lead was great.

    Mark I’m not surprised. My uncle insists it’s because there’s nothing to be excited about anymore for the general movie goer, and he’s right. It’s a shame.

  7. Mark Bell says:

    Apparently the Oscar telecast was the lowest rated in history. Shame. Chris and I at least kept them on while we played video games…

    And I can’t imagine watching the whole telecast on the East Coast anymore. I take for granted the whole “Oscars done by 9pm” thing now, and I think I too would be passing out midway otherwise.

  8. Nathaniel says:

    I thought the Oscars were pretty blah last night. However, I did enjoy the Independent Spirit Awards. I thought Rainn Wilson was absolutely hilarious and Ellen Page won Best Female Lead. I was a happy camper.

  9. Phil Hall says:

    I fell asleep after the Best Song Award. As usual, another boring Oscar telecast.

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