By admin | January 8, 2004

Man, this movie arrived like a warning: in a Fuji Film box, with a b/w photo of a fat man in a dress making oogly monster hands at a barely scared prom couple taped to it.

I suppose this movie is really funny if you’re drunk – but sadly, I couldn’t get drunk enough. This movie will never be an underground classic, but I do believe it can be accurately described as close to watching John Waters on speed as I will ever come.

I had to call in my cohort, Kent State University student Sean Posey, to help me on this one. Someone had to keep me awake, and make a few runs for more six packs of Labatt Blue. No s**t. I’m too nice, as my buddy Andras Jones sings, I can’t think of anyone who would sit through this film, save for me. It’s cold outside right now, in Canton, Ohio and that’s the only reason I can think of that I didn’t run screaming from the house while this film droned on.

The actors in this film took the time to memorize lines – why, really, I have no idea. While this isn’t the worst film ever made, I reserve that moniker strictly for various big-budget productions, for god’s sake, I could barely even hear the bad dialogue (example: man walks into bathroom, sees blood everywhere, and says, “Honey, did you have your period in here?”), sets range from awful to someone’s basement, and a sign for the ‘State Forensic Asylum’, where a fat man in a red dress is lurking around, is handmade, and looks to be imported from Gloucester, Ohio. What is this film about? Something bad once happened on Sadie Hawkin’s Day and after that, it’s anyone’s good guess as to what’s going on.

I can state though, that no one gets naked in the film. Which is both, good and bad. There is no one I want to see naked cast in this film, but maybe I would have remembered something to be worthwhile about the viewing of it if I could have at least seen some boobage.

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