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QUEST FOR THE HOLY ALE

By Phil Hall | February 22, 2006

Maybe a worse film than “Quest for the Holy Ale” exists, but at the moment I am hard pressed to think of it. I still cannot believe I just sat through this particularly dreadful indie.

The plot, such as it is, involves a nerdy guy who is passed over for a promotion at work and comes home to discover his girlfriend left him – taking everything he had but four empty ice trays. His best friend, an independently wealthy guy given to inane existentialist chatter, convinces him to go on a road trip. They embark, picking up dum-dum hitchhikers, stopping to get drunk on beer whenever possible, and talking endlessly on subjects ranging from sex to French fries.

So what’s so bad? Imagine a movie where absolutely no one can act, where dialogue goes limping in circles before collapsing into its own waste, where a director has no clue where to put the camera, and where the editor appears to have been done with garden shears. Add an irritating indie rock score, shoot it in the grainiest 16mm imaginable, and you have a fairly rancid brew.

I am not identifying the people who made this mess. With luck, they will either go on to the proverbial bigger and better or leave the movie industry forever.

My God, this movie stinks!

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