PSYCHO SISTERS

As the title, “Psycho Sisters,” implies, Jane (Theresa Lynn) and Jackie (J.J. North) are deeply troubled siblings. After witnessing their parents’ murder/suicide and, later, their sister’s murder, each has a tortured inner child who’s crying-out for love and understanding. They also just happen to be really hot and have huge breast implants, dude!
The aforementioned horrific events land the girls in a psychiatric hospital for a lengthy stay. But, even so, they are released prematurely–still suffering from a bad case of total kookiness. Jane is a staunch man-hater, but as she so eloquently tells Jackie–she doesn’t want to “munch carpet” either. It sounds like Jane picked-up a lot of her hipster jargon from reading “Screw” magazine. She’s also pretty dangerous with gardening tools, as a couple of poor fools find out when she impales them in the woods with a handy pair of shears.
Jackie, on the other hand, is a more subdued psycho. Sure, she’s always ready to kill at the drop of a hat, but–unlike Jane–she doesn’t engage in showy, deranged fits of anger. She’s the psycho sister in the thankless role of “straight man” to Jane’s more Jerry Lewis-inspired bouts of pure idiotic lunacy. When Jackie drops by the local sperm bank with a turkey baster full of the icky reproductive fluids from a recent victim, she hits it off right away with the soft-spoken front desk clerk. For a while, it looks like love might yet blossom for the hapless, homicidal gal with a heart. Then Jane finds out and she is pissed-off to the max. The romance between Jackie and Spermboy is in serious trouble.
The cutlery-loving sisses also off a couple of grungy bikers with a machete in a fine, blood-soaked sequence. This leads their motorcycle buddies to weirdly conclude that the two goons were killed by “queers”. So, the hairy hooligans set out for revenge. But even the outlaw bikers have second thoughts. “If it ain’t the homos, then who the hell is it?” asks one of the motorcycle mamas–which does give the thugs something to ponder. And the fun just escalates from there!
In a world of boring, humorless slasher flicks, “Psycho Sisters” is a trash classic! Writer/director Pete Jacelone has crammed the film full of campy dialogue that actually works. And, that said, these sisters don’t waste a lot of time talking about killing — they get out there and do it. “Psycho Sisters” manages to blend horror with off-the-wall humor: no small feat.