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By Jim Agnew | October 14, 2002

I have a suggestion for the short film “Penis Disorders” – a better title would have been “Script Disorders.”
Written, directed and starring Nick Spano, “Penis Disorders” is about…it’s about…well, that seems to be the problem, I have no idea what the point of this film is. Look, I even gave it the benefit of the doubt and watched it a second time and the results were the same – I sat there thinking to myself, “What just happened?”
The pseudo plot is about a guy who cheats on his girlfriend, gets caught, and then realizes he really likes her. But for some reason, there’s a fat guy with a chronic masturbation problem who just appears for no apparent reason other than he’s fat and jerks off. Oh, and then there’s a sub-plot thing about a guy who can’t get it up because he still likes his girlfriend, but that also goes nowhere. Then for some reason, Nick’s Hollywood friend shows up and takes him to an acting class because it’s better than going to therapy and then…this once again goes nowhere.
Basically, things start to happen, go nowhere and then they just end.
The sad part of this whole thing is that it is a well-directed, well-acted short. Actually, every actor in the film is great, which is surprising for a short film. Every level of the production is top notch. Nick Spano is a good actor and director, he just needs a script that has something, anything to say.

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