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PANTY GIRLS

By Doug Brunell | March 22, 2006

Never before have I been so pissed at a film for wasting my time. That half star rating? It’s for creativity. The film has nothing else going for it.

This cinematic tumor’s story centers around the women who work at Panty Party, a lingerie store owned by Barb (Shira Podolsky). Her and her crew are antagonized by the neighborhood males, who escalate their little prank war after being mailed a box full of used tampons. These guys are too dumb to know that if a woman takes a prank that far you will never beat her.

Later, a squid drops out of the sky and carries off one of the guys.

I’m not one for spoiling a movie; I consider what I just did to be a public service. You read it right, too. A squid. Drops out. Of the sky.

The actors in this film are utterly dreadful. The dialogue is the standard garbage that sounds better on paper. The story? Was there one? If so, I missed it.

A squid, folks. That’s how it ends. My level of tolerance has been reached. Too bad no floating sea creature saved me from this wreck of a short film.

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