Get off my screen, Sid Ganis, President of the Academy. I will not pledge $500. I do not want a free tote bag. I do not want a videotaped copy of this ceremony. I have TiVo.
What’s that, disheveled man? You’re not asking for donations? Then what the hell kind of speech are you giving?
Oh, he’s asking people nicely to stop bootlegging. Mickey Rooney looks like a large donut hole. Oh, it’s about New Orleans. Keep your chin up New Orleans! Hollywood’s pulling for you! How much of a bigger promise can you get?