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By Merle Bertrand | February 3, 2000

There are no guarantees going into a relationship. Falling in love is a lot like tiptoeing out onto a high wire without a pole, let alone a net under your feet. Wouldn’t it be nice, then, if there was some sort of protection against the inevitable heartbreaks that come with dating and romance; some sort of “Love Insurance?” Longtime character actor Robert Peters (“Go,” “In the Line of Fire,” “The X-Files”) makes his directorial debut in “Mutual Love Life;” a scathingly cynical but hilarious comedy about the practical side of love which won the Slamdance Audience Award for Best Short Film. Don and Sarah seem very much in love, but Phil (perfectly played by Peters) has seen this before. So when Sarah sets off to powder her nose, Phil pounces on Don and embarks on a side-splitting sales pitch to sell the love struck suitor some love insurance. This is one of those fictional ideas that actually sounds like it might work in the real world. The policy’s provisions — a wardrobe consultant to keep the dumpee dressing right, a
“No Fault” clause to provide him with a believable excuse that the break-up was a mutual thing, a sexy “loaner” date to tide him over until he meets someone new — are spot-on twists of conventional insurance provisions. On paper, this may sound like just a bunch of groaner puns, but “Mutual Love Life” is one of the funniest films I’ve seen…and was just as funny on the second viewing. Sign up and head for the single’s bars.

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