By Admin | January 10, 2004

If ever a need arises to whack somebody or cause much bodily harm with no intent to kill, but intent to punish for reasons only known to the person doing the a*s kicking, it helps to probably have a credit card where your purchases can’t be easily traced to you. For Mafia members, that credit card of choice is MobsterCard, the card of choice for those who don’t like to be fingered by the FBI or anyone else that can stand in the way of their own brand of justice. 

“MobsterCard” is in the vein of all those Mastercard commercials (“Giant vibrating dildo: $63. Pleasure of knowing that it’s around whenever your boyfriend isn’t: Priceless”) that we all know and sometimes get sick of. For the three mobsters taking care of some business, it’s a matter of getting the nylon rope, five-gallon bucket, quick-dry cement, and duct tape they need to get the job done without any trouble. There are countless photos parodying those Mastercard advertisements, but this is the first I’ve seen of any parody of that, put to film.  

While we’re on this credit card subject, what about the rest of MobsterCard’s benefits? I didn’t write the parody, but let’s examine this a little further. It depends on what type of mobster we might be dealing with here and from what era of film or television. If you’re going for an Italian Mafioso, a certain number of purchases might get you a fine table and free meal at the Italian restaurant you frequent. For those that like to get the job done quickly and somewhat messy just to feel that they’ve really accomplished what’s meant to be done, a certain number of purchases can go toward a free aluminum bat or a free fill-up from a cement company in your area. While there could be a few more “MobsterCard” parodies, this is enough. It does what it needs to do and it’s all the more humorous for its skewering of all things “Priceless”.

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