I’ve decided that I want to pursue acting. I’ve never done it before but how hard can it be? I’ve seen Keanu Reeves star in film after film. I’ve seen a trilogy of George Lucas films over the past ten years and they have the worst acting ever. I’ll probably live to see a trilogy of Fast and the Furious films (hopefully I didn’t just jinx myself). It’s obvious that acting isn’t really part of most mainstream cinema these days, so why can’t I do it too? I can’t act either.
Maybe it’s my mug. Give it a glance:
Perhaps that isn’t the best picture I could show. Is it my glasses? I can look pretty badass if I take them off. I could be the next Scott Caan. I should be in Ocean’s 13. There must be a role for me in the remake of Seven Samurai I’ve been hearing about. I could be the next Superman. I mean, I already have the glasses. And I’m not very expensive either. I’d do a movie like that for $10,000. I’m unknown too. Maybe Brett Ratner will sign me as Gambit in X-4. I’d probably have to bribe him with a donut and some pomade but I can afford that.
I should be John Connor in Terminator 4 because after T3, there really isn’t any more continuity to save.
I think this is actually a good idea. I do want to be John Connor in the next Terminator film. I have the perfect picture to earn me the part:
In this picture, I am very unshaven (this signifies I am a little troubled because my mom has died and I know that Terminators are real and could kill me at any given moment) and very aware (as I am very paranoid, as Terminators could kill me at any given moment). And I am behind the wheel driving, looking out the side window instead of at the road ahead of me (which happens a lot in films). This look could also express my concern for the future of the human race, as it might be extinct soon. Perhaps I am involved in a deep thought involving my father, Kyle Reece, who died protecting my mom from a Terminator in 1984. I think, “Well, he accomplished his mission and had sex with my mom. That’s a pretty good death.”
All these moods and feelings expressed in this one simple picture. Imagine what I could do in front of a motion picture camera.
I know one thing is for sure, I’d probably give Edward Furlong and Nick Stahl a run for their money. Plus, I only cost $10,000. Top that, suckas.
Michael Ferraro for Man of Steel! That would be a block buster action film!
When will I see you smile again? – Mark Bell Biv DeVoe
some of the lesser talented but very boinkable actors probably do just that…. “actor” by day, “manslut/slave” by night. you wouldnt have any qualms about that, would you?
or maybe theyre not even real people.
You got my vote dude!!
Screw acting, Michael Ferraro for president!
Pete, the funny thing is, my $10,000 fee is probably less than Furlong’s bail.
Dunno about Nick Stahl, but Eddie Furlong would probably work for bail money at this point.