Ah, those one-name artists. Madonna, Sting, Prince, and many others. Ever known one that didn’t lapse into a notable state of delusion about his or her talent or overall greatness? But, should we expect less from people so unconventional that they feel the need to separate themselves from the rest of us plebs with our mundane first, middle, and last names? No question about it, you have to look out for these ONWs (One Name Wonders). Though he stands far less famous than these other artists, Metrov, the writer, director, and producer of “Little Eden”, is equally as delusional about this work as any ONW as ever been. As the mock disclaimer on the DVD’s cover states:
WARNING: This film is experimental in nature. Most people who watch this film are unable to speak or function normally for approximately (1) hour after viewing. If necessary, call a cab or pre-designed driver to return home.
How’s that for hubris? “Saving Private Ryan” may have had this effect upon some veterans, but the only reaction “Little Eden” elicits is anger for having sat through it.
Rather than a feature length movie with one storyline, “Little Eden” is actually comprised of two separate short films. Linking the two together into any sort of a coherent message is not advised. The first short follows Simon Moog, a former “High Energy Astrophysicist”, as he ruminates about the universe and his place in it. But before we even get into Simon’s rambles, we’re treated to a seven minute light show on the origin of the universe and the earth. Anyone here seen, “2001: A Space Odyssey”? Kubrick did it much, much better. Then Simon starts in, talking to some Minotaur-like toy doll, with lines like, “I am one with the Big Bang. I am the Big Bang.” Nope, you’re just one with mediocrity and the guy who gave you those lines should have read up a little about physics or philosophy before he started spouting off about them. The second short revolves around Edena, a psychic healer who is unable to cure her own inoperable brain tumor. Searching for answers in the desert (any symbolism there?), Edena eventually engages in a seemingly deep conversation with a mysterious “Guru”. The whole discussion is loaded with questions and answers you cannot take seriously, though the actors certainly do. Guess who plays the Guru? Metrov. Enough said.
Experimental films are not for most people. Given the choice between an experiment and something well thought out, I’m always more apt to take the later. Still, so hopelessly protracted and jejune is “Little Eden” that even the most experimental film fans are unlikely to see anything in it.