I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY, AND I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN Image

It speaks a lot about a filmmaker when you can sit down and watch a movie that’s only fourteen minutes in length and suddenly find yourself asking six minutes in: “Is it over yet?”

That’s the case with “I Love You, I’m Sorry, And I’ll Never Do it Again” described as a comedy musical that plays more like an endurance test on its audience. Unfunny in every respect, director Keith Snyder sets down on a troubled worker who owes gangsters a lot of money. They break into his factory and chase after him, and in spite of his best efforts, his angry wife (and her disgruntled best friend) refuses to give him the money he owes them. Oddly enough, they take time out of their pummeling and violence to… teach him about relationships. And how to please the Missus. Honest.

They don’t teach him so much as engage in horribly lame and poorly acted fantasy sequences envisioning the two overweight hairy gangsters as Adam and Eve, and a host of other historic couples. I wanted to find some value in this, but all I could really do was marvel at the forced humor, groan at the horrific score, and thank the heavens that this was finally over. It shouldn’t be this much trouble for a message as simple as: Relationships are tough.

So is sitting through a bad movie.

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