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HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE SUPERLASER

By Rory L. Aronsky | July 16, 2003

Back and forth, back and forth, bank and f*****g forth, man! Editing ping-pong is freaking annoying! Not only that, but this certainly isn’t an “ode” to “Dr. Strangelove…” as Robert & James Dastoli would love to have you believe. At the end of the day, it really isn’t much of anything.
Here In this “ode”, we’ve got Emperor Palpatine (James Dastoli) in place of Merkin Muffley, Grand Moff Tarkin taking over for Jack D. Ripper (though the character is just mentioned in the dialogue), and Bail Organa taking Dimitri’s place, this time on Alderaan and he’s not happy in the least, which is easy to gather considering that the Superlaser is right on Alderaan’s tail now what with Tarkin in charge of it. Also, General McGundarkson (Dastoli again) seems to be here to take care of the ‘Buck’ Turgidson part of the deal.
The editing ping-pong in certain scenes is annoying to the point of ordering hand closure around the windpipes of the two directors. In the beginning, we see McGundarkson putting gum in his mouth, but while Palpatine is on the phone with Bail, the directors feel compelled to keep cutting back and forth between the gum chewing and Palpatine’s conversation on the phone. Perhaps this is there to make up for no expression from a covered Palpatine, though we still get to see Dastoli’s mug in the McGundarkson role, but it’s still no excuse.
Speaking of incredibly annoying, how about that acting? With Robert Dastoli pulling double-duty, he fails spectacularly on both accounts. If he’s trying to salute Peter Sellers-as-Merkin-Muffley with Palpatine, it’s more like a mooning. I half-expected Palpatine to launch into a sales pitch on life insurance. As for Dastoli-as-McGundarkson, he’s given his very brief time at the end to launch into a tirade about this whole matter, which is waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy overdone. I like laughing at a good comedy as much as the next dude, but I like to laugh at the comedy being presented, not end up completely silent with head slightly shaking in reaction to the bad performance that’s shoved in my face.
What can be said has been said so let’s take the film and grab a couple of shovels. Time to head to the cemetery and bury this before any precious bodily fluids are stolen.

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