Too many screenwriters can spoil a film, especially when it’s only seven minutes. A robbery is at first the main objective, with Carrie (Cynthia Kaplan) leading it, and telling her fiancé Richard (Dennis Davis) what to do, while he questions her choice of pantyhose to put over their heads. Nude pantyhose is not the kind of fashion suitable for this, and even then, the joke is too transparent, just like the hose, to be funny. Then Richard worries that someone will recognize them, and Carrie asks him how he can think anyone would when they don’t even live in the neighborhood of the convenience store. How much more inept can this get? Plenty. Screenwriters Jen Heck, Madeleine Olnek, Davis, Kaplan, and Nancy Giles, who plays Meghan, the woman behind the counter, all miss a prime opportunity. When Carrie looks out the car window and tells Richard that there’s only that one woman inside the store, are we really supposed to believe that Carrie doesn’t recognize Meghan right then and there? There’s a major to-do between both women that’s suitable for a mild Jerry Springer episode or even a few minutes on Maury Povich, the bisexual finding a new lover, a man, and encountering her ex, a woman. The intended comedy, with Richard panicking over Carrie recognizing Meghan, is pathetic, as he merely looks desperate. That’s the extent of it. The drama of the entire situation is missing. If Carrie had recognized Meghan before she went into the convenience store, “Hold Up” might have been a better short. But as it is, it doesn’t even feel like anyone remotely real or even interesting is populating these minutes.
