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GETTING TO KNOW MARK BELL

By Michael Ferraro | June 13, 2006

Hanging with Mark Bell has certainly been an interesting adventure these past couple of days. For those of you who don’t know what Mr. Bell looks like, here is a picture:

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Mark Bell hard at work at the Film Threat corner in the Cinevegas headquarters.

Since Saturday, 6/10/2006, I’ve been keeping a strict log of Mark Bell quotes on my notepad. Everytime he says something interesting, I’d pull it out and write it down. It felt like I was interviewing some eccentric celebrity, only Mark isn’t really a celebrity and I wasn’t asking any questions.

Here are the quotes included on the log:

“Where is Louis Gosset Jr. when you need him?” – Not quite sure why he said this.

“I’d have to be wet.” – I’m not quite sure why he said this either.

“I’m like a big Weird Al.” – Bell on is quick ability to change any song’s lyrics at the blink of an eye.

“You smiling makes me smile.” – Bell on my comment of what coffee does to me.

Being the big fans of Brothers Zellner that we are, we couldn’t prevent ourselves from talking about them whenever their brilliant Cinevegas promotional commercials came on.

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This is Nathan Zellner, as he purchases my birthday present on 4/2/2006… a meatstick from a street vendor.

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And this is David Zellner with a really big cookie.

If you haven’t seen a Zellner short, or their feature Frontier (available through Film Threat DVD) which is nothing shy of amazing, you’re missing on some fantastic filmmaking. But now that you’ve seen pictures of them, let’s hear what Mark Bell has to say about them:

“Any song is the perfect song when you’re f*****g a Zellner.” – I don’t really remember why or where this came from either.

This next and final quote is my favorite:

“If I’m gonna bust my a*s cherry, it’s gonna be by a Zellner.”

So there you have it. All you could ever want to know about the mysterious Mark Bell. I’m sure he’ll never be thought of in the same light ever again. Can’t wait till Gore gets here.

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