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By Admin | February 6, 2003

Part of the Grand Prize that day was a death of the winner’s choosing in the upcoming Troma film, “Tales from the Crapper.” The prize idea was actually a concoction of the people at “Beat the Geeks,” not Troma, Lloyd Kaufman, president of Troma and the creator of the Toxic Avenger informed me. Lloyd said that during another episode of “Beat the Geeks,” he made an appearance as the Toxic Avenger and the Geeks had to figure out who the man behind the mask was. To his surprise, the challenged Geek not only knew who he was, but how many films he directed under his pseudonym Samuel Weil. “They even knew the size of my penis,” said Lloyd. So, being fans of Troma, and having Lloyd right there in their clutches, the “Beat the Geeks” producers devised the whole Troma Death prize.

So with his death looming before him, Paul decided that he wanted to do more with his prize. He wrote a completely over-the-top death sequence, ultimately having himself being ripped apart by a car, and Lloyd Kaufman loved it. Thing is, it didn’t really fit into the movie that they were making. Paul took this opportunity to ask just what the movie was about and he was told to come up with something involving him being murdered by a vampire stripper. Paul wrote the new scene and once again Lloyd loved it, deciding to make it the opening sequence for the new film. Paul then took THIS opportunity to offer up his filmmaking know-how by asking if he could also produce and direct the scene. Troma hadn’t a problem with that and they gave him the okay. I asked Lloyd about this quick decision and he said that he was delighted to turn over complete control to the filmmaker. “A couple of the guys from S.O.T.A. F/X had worked with me on ‘The Toxic Avenger,’ so if they haven’t learned anything about film production in the past 20 years, to hell with ’em,” added Lloyd, showing his complete trust in Salamoff.

And so there I was, armed with a camera on a sweltering Saturday afternoon, at the S.O.T.A. F/X studio in the Valley, preparing to see this guy, who I had only known for a few minutes, get torn apart by the one and only Julie Strain. Yes, excitement was in the air.

Shooting for a premiere at Cannes in May, “Tales from the Crapper” is a Tromatized version of “Tales from the Crypt,” with Lloyd Kaufman appearing as the Crapkeeper, introducing the film’s two stories – one best described as “Risky Business” with vampire hookers and the other involving a creature called the Tromantis. Along with introducing the stories, Lloyd as the Crapkeeper will also offer up humorous tips on film production, which are taken straight from his new book, Make Your Own Damn Movie! Being the first narrative feature to fit into the Dogpile 95 scheme of filmmaking, “Tales from the Crapper” will be your typical Troma movie – sex, gore, insanity; all that good stuff that makes Troma taste so good. “Tales from the Crapper” will also feature the entire Troma family, including Trey Parker and Ron Jeremy. When complete, the film will boast something like six different directorial credits – Lloyd Kaufman will be one of the those credits…

And so will Paul J. Salamoff. Thanks to this guy, “Tales from the Crapper” will start off with one major f**k of a bang, as Salamoff’s perverted character gets ripped apart in the back of a strip club, but not before he receives one last lap dance.

Get the rest of the story in part three of FROM “BEAT THE GEEKS” STRAIGHT TO “THE CRAPPER”>>>

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