Maybe I’m a bit of a bastard, but I believe people who like that the MPAA does its best to make directors censor their movies so that films are safe for families and sensitive adults should not watch movies. That’s right. If someone thinks the MPAA is an ally in the fight against “”smut,” that person shouldn’t walk into theatres and should never obtain a rental card. Why? They spoil things for everyone else.
When adults get their morals all wound up over a film, that tells me the adult has a problem. I don’t care if it’s some religious man being outraged by “”The Da Vinci Code,” or some woman screaming for the banning of a film like “”Bloodsucking Freaks.” These people obviously don’t have real problems to worry about, or they don’t know how to handle the problems they do have, so they look for a strawman. The problem is that there are plenty of other people like them out there who will give them a chance to be heard and will take up their battle cry as if on orders by God. They really need a good cancer scare to put things in perspective.
There are movies I hate. There are those I think should never have been made, like “”Snow Dogs.” I may even call for their eradication, but I would never ask Congress to do it for me. I would never try to enact laws to censor the people who make these films. If I do something like that, I realize it has the potential to bite me on the a*s in the end. Instead, I’ll use shame tactics and avoid giving these films my money. At no time, however, will I seriously try to get the films banned or give the MPAA any kind of moral authority over what I can view. That’s the path of cowards and the weak, and those people need to get the f**k out of the way.
Life is filled with moments that aren’t “”safe.” I know many of you crusaders realize this and wish your films could be the one safe haven in an unsafe world. After all, you should be able to watch “”The Devil’s Rejects” without feeling uncomfortable (as one person told me). That’s utter bullshit. If you want safety, watch Hallmark movies, or avoid film all together. Your input is ruining the art for the rest of us who have to deal with your insecurities, and I’m sick of it.
I am a mature, responsible adult. If there’s a movie I think will offend me, I won’t watch it. I won’t cry about it. I won’t say, “”I really want to see it, but it’s too nasty.” I won’t write my local senator. I didn’t watch “”The Lake House” because I thought it looked dumb. I would never dream of banning it, though. There could be people out there who like it, and who am I to tell them what they should be allowed to watch?
Keep screaming, you wannabe censors. Keep saying that movies are “”sinful works of art that cater to the lowest common denominator” (never realizing that the lowest common denominator is actually you). Keep renting movies that have been cut not only at the whim of the MPAA, but by some guy who has some fancy computer software and a religious agenda. They all know better than you what you can and cannot see. Of course, if you are so eager to listen to them, you should listen to me, too, and I’m saying you should put your money where your mouth is and stop watching movies. I think you’d be doing yourself and the rest of us a favor. We don’t want your input, and film definitely doesn’t need your voice dictating what writers and directors can and cannot do.
And if you’re wondering if this rant is about you, here’s a simple test: Do you disagree? If so, it’s about you.