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FLOAT

By Mark Bell | January 2, 2008

“Float” presents us yet another story of an average joe chasing his dream to become a big Hollywood filmmaker, this time with an entirely unlikable character named Paul Greene. Paul is running low in the self-esteem department and to make him even more charming he has a crappy idea for a movie – a flick about a women’s prison at sea.

Okay, so the idea isn’t half bad, but the problem is that Paul wants to make the film more arty and less farty, meaning he doesn’t just want to make an exploitation T&A movie therefore committing sacrilege to the women in prison sub-genre. Hence the crappy idea. But Paul thinks it a wonderful idea and so we follow him along on his mis-adventures as he shleps through Hollywood, rejection biting him in the a*s at every turn. Until one day he comes across a studio exec who loves the idea and sets the gears in motion for this women in a floating prison flick to be made. Thing is, this exec wants to take the obvious route and sex it up more.

Thirsty for his big break, Paul follows along with the plan. Add a new girlfriend to the mix and it looks like Paul’s life has taken a turn for the best. But, as moviemaking can go, everything suddenly starts falling apart and it’s up to Paul to fight out of his losing streak and chase down the happiness he just started to attain.

Okay, the everyman following his dreams story is fine. Actually, it’s better than fine as it also encourages hard work and independence. I’m all about a strong, positive message and this movie has plenty of it. Too bad, though, that it’s framed within this dreadfully uninteresting tale of what a bitch trying to make your way in Hollywood can be. It’s a tale we all know far too well (especially if you live in Los Angeles) and it’s beyond boring. Helping to alleviate the boredom just a bit is a romance between Paul and his new actress girlfriend, but Paul is such an unlikable, annoying character that you’re hard-pressed to find much lasting charm to hold your interest. He’s kinda like an unfunny Larry David and that’s no good. Spending time with Paul is completely unappetizing and that also makes his relationship with his girl unbelievable.

I think many of us know guys like Paul and that’s okay. More power to the struggling filmmakers out there! But should we have movies about guys like Paul? Hell no.

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