HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY, “STAR WARS!” The movie that created a universe of geekdom turns 30 today, and in honor Film Threat looks back at the Top Ten “Star Wars” Stories to run on the site. From “Starwoids” to Celebration III, Samuel L. Jackson to Buddhism, in no particular order…
10. TOP TEN THINGS WE WANT SAM JACKSON TO SAY IN THE STAR WARS PREQUEL
When all is said and done, Mace Windu got punked by Anakin. At one point, however, we were all inspired by the idea of Samuel L. Jackson rocking the house, and this piece illustrates us at our most hopeful.
9. THE STAR WARS REPORT
With the “Star Wars” saga winding down, Pete Vonder Haar eased us all through the end with his weekly column. Start with the first installment, and read through to the “Episode III” release, you won’t regret it.
8. 50 REASONS WHY RETURN OF THE JEDI SUCKS
You’ll not find a more comprehensive list of why “Return of the Jedi” sucked than this 2001 story by Dan Vebber.
7. “STAR WARS THE PHANTOM EDIT”: THE FAN’S CUT
When “The Phantom Menace” was released, it broke many geeks hearts. A few filmmakers, however, saw the potential hidden in the film and decided to re-cut the film to illustrate their point. End result? “Star Wars The Phantom Edit.”
6. VADER SESSIONS
Not a story but a video, this clip uses the voice of James Earl Jones as lifted from other films and sets the sound to familiar Darth Vader footage. Ingenius and hilarious.
5. LINE-A-PALOOZA: STAR WARS CELEBRATION III
The epic true story of Film Threat’s Mark Bell (hey, that’s me) as he stands in line overnight for the chance to see George Lucas in-person at “Star Wars” Celebration III.
4. STARWOIDS DOCUMENTARY FILMMAKER DENNIS PRZYWARA
The definitive word on “The Phantom Menace” lines that formed in Hollywood and Westwood, CA. A respectable look at the fans that make all other geeks pale in comparison.
3. MATTHEW BORTOLIN: DARTH VADER VS. THE BUDDHA
Buddhism, the Force… what’s the difference? Writer Matthew Bortolin explored that question, and Phil Hall talked to him about it, even touching on the spiritual validity of the “Star Wars Holiday Special.”
2. STAR WARS: EPISODE III – ATTACK OF THE BAD HAIRCUTS
Connecting the trilogies by haircut seems like a really silly idea, right? As silly as Jar Jar, Anakin making C-3PO or Yoda wimping out against the Emperor? No? I rest my case.
1. “THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL” IN FIVE MINUTES and THE TURKISH STAR WARS
Consider this the visual atrocity vote as both “The Star Wars Holiday Special” and “The Turkish Star Wars” fulfill the niche that is rare, cult-in-status and absolutely embarrassing to all involved. You have to see both of these at least once in your lifetime.
And there you have it. “Star Wars” enters its 30’s and we have to start asking: Do we even care anymore? Is “Star Wars” relevant? Each fan will have their own answer to those questions, but regardless we’ll always have our memories… and all those “Star Wars”-related videos…
– Mark Bell, Rocking with the Rancor Keeper