Film Threat archive logo

FILM THREAT’S FRIGID 50: THE COLDEST PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD (11-19)

By Film Threat Staff | November 26, 2002

11. RICHARD GERE
How does he do it? He’s not had a single hit film in the past 10 years except for Runaway Bride (and we can thank Julia Roberts for that), yet he still manages to sleepwalk his way through starring roles in at least two flicks a year which inevitably bomb at the box office (this year saw his quota fill up with The Mothman Prophecies and Unfaithful). And still he goes on with nary a scratch! His next film is the musical “Chicago,” though with his love of Tibetan causes he really would have been better in “Hello Dalai Lama!”

12. MICHAEL JACKSON
Earth to Jacko, earth to Jacko…nobody cares any more. Really, nobody. Now please go away?

13. STEVEN SEAGAL
He’s still trying to do action movies, but he’s so fat that he can barely lift his leg to kick his opponent in the kneecap.

14. LEONARDO DICAPRIO
He let his career plow into an iceberg after becoming the sexiest man alive in the wake of Titanic. Will he do the same thing with the buzz from the highly anticipated “Gangs of New York”?

15. NICK NOLTE
Now let’s get this straight. You took a date rape drug and then decided to go for a drive? C’mon, even Winona Ryder had more savvy in her criminal career!

16. BILLY CRUDUP
This antiseptic eye candy of the indie circuit has left so much crud up on the screen in flop after flop (Jesus’ Son, Waking the Dead, Charlotte Gray) that it’s a surprise anyone would still cast him.

17. MIRA SORVINO
Winner of the Louise Fletcher Award for the Worst Post-Oscar Career Trajectory, boasting a filmography littered with barely-noticed parts in barely-considered flicks (anyone remember Too Tired to Die or Lisa Picard is Famous or The Triumph of Love?). Her latest, “Wise Girls” with Mariah Carey (?!?), was so awful that it went straight from Sundance into an unpublicized cable TV broadcast. At the speed her career is declining, it shouldn’t be long before she shows up hosting infomercials at four in the morning.

18. KEVIN COSTNER
Come on! Dragonfly? Who keeps giving this guy money?

19. JAMES TOBACK
Once considered a filmmaker of great promise, now the A-list answer to Edward D. Wood Jr.. His newest debacle was Harvard Man, which was so bad that it sat on the shelf for over a year and ping-ponged between distributors before being dumped on audiences who wouldn’t pick up this mess.

Get the rest of the list in the next part of FILM THREAT’S FRIGID 50: THE COLDEST PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD>>>

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join our Film Threat Newsletter

Newsletter Icon