JULY
Transformers
After battling a psychotic neighbor, and before traveling the world with dad Indiana Jones, Shia Lebeouf battles robots in disguise, and so begins another franchise…
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
One of two things is going to have to happen to explain why these 20-something kids are still attending high school (“Deathly Hallows” isn’t slated for theatrical release until 2010): either CGI will advance to the point where Emma Watson’s crow’s feet and Daniel Radcliffe’s receding hairline can be camouflaged, or Dumbledore’s going to hold them back a few years.
Hairspray
The film adaptation of the musical adaptation of the movie musical. We’re confused too, but it features John Travolta in drag, so we’re there!
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
Kevin James is inoffensive enough, even if his TV show sucks, but if you combine every comedy he’s made since 1999, the number of laughs amounts to seven, which is roughly the same number you get in 45 seconds of “Knocked Up.” Jessica Biel in a catsuit is…compelling, but doesn’t speak well for the comedy quotient. If that’s as hard as he’s willing to work for his craft, Sandler should just hire Biel and Jessica Alba and release 90 minutes of the two of them re-enacting the “a*s to a*s” scene from “Requiem for a Dream.”
Oh shut up, you’d buy tickets.
The Simpsons Movie
Fox releases “The Simpsons Movie” this summer, a mere 10 years since the show stopped being funny…
Only one Summer month of movies left! See what August brings in Part Six of Film Threat’s 2007 Summer Movie Preview>>>
