EXCESS HOLLYWOOD:  BLOOD ORGY OF THE ATOMIC WORM Image

One of my wife’s co-workers recently accused me of being a degenerate. Seeing as this was coming from a Christian who has more than her share of struggles with her faith, I took it as a compliment. I’m sure Larry Flynt has had the same “insult” hurdled his way more than once, too, which puts me in good company. I’m also sure he’s going to be called worse if his newest project ever sees light.

Barbara Bush, daughter of our awkward President, has this little thing she does at Yale. She and her peers like to get together and have these parties where they strip off all their clothes and drink. Honestly, it sounds like an easy way to get girls to screw, but who am I to judge the future leaders of our society? Maybe they really need to do this to relieve the pressures of finals and overachieving. Hell, it beats blowing up cop cars, right?

Finding out the President’s daughter is no better than the chicks in the “Girls Gone Wild” videos is pretty disturbing, but there is more to this story. Some genius supposedly filmed one of these parties where Barbara’s bush was in attendance.

Wait, it gets even better.

Flynt is trying to track down the video. The man behind Hustler and several other magazines knows a money-making venture when he smells one, and this one smells good. A video featuring the daughter of the President sucking down Long Island Ice Teas, fumbling through her incomplete sentences, drooling and rubbing nipples with her equally wasted female friends? I know that some of the most conservative Republicans would want to see that one. Hell, Billy Graham would lock himself in a dark room for a few hours if he got a hold of that tape, and he wouldn’t be saying prayers — at least not his usual ones. It’s my guess that if this is ever released, Barbara will be getting quite a few more hugs at the next presidential family mixer. Maybe a few gropes, too.

I’m not holding our President responsible for the actions of his daughter (though the apple doesn’t fall too far from the lynching tree), but I have to wonder how he’s going to go about business if this video ever makes its way onto the market. The guy can barely handle foreign relations as it is. He’ll have a hell of a hard time brokering peace when men on both sides of the table are commenting on the shape of his daughter’s a*s and talking about how her nipples look like brownish-red pencil erasers when they are erect. “No, honestly fellas, we need to talk cease fire.” “I’d like to cease fire that!”

People may call Flynt names for trying to obtain this video, which his people haven’t even been able to confirm exists at the time of this writing, but he’s used to it. He’s not the real degenerate here, though. He’s the guy who is pointing out what hypocrites all these people are, and he does it by exposing how hypocritical we are, too. Thousands will speak out against the video, but it will be a huge seller. I know the President will condemn his daughter either publicly or privately (and to be fair, she did a really dumb thing), but he did the same types of things in his early years. Flynt, that degenerate millionaire, knows we like to lie to ourselves and pretend we are better than that. He knows we’re not. We know it, too, but we won’t admit it.

Me? I’d love to see the film. I don’t find Barbara Bush attractive (if anything, I really think she may be mentally disabled), but I do want to see her star in the most subversive video of the year. It’ll piss off her dad. It’ll anger her mom. And it already is giving me laughs on a daily basis. When Clinton was in office, we expected this stuff. Bush claimed to be different. Not smarter. Different. And he is. But his kids — man, talk about the sins of the father being revisited.

Our President can be smarmy and smug when discussing the sanctity of life (right before ordering a bombing run), and he can talk about the need for faith (as he prays to God to keep him away from the bottle), but once this video is out, I’ll be able to say, “That’s all well and good, but I saw your little girl’s titties!”

Have fun next election, Bush. My guess is that if this video airs, bush will definitely be the topic of conversation, but the context may not be exactly what you want to hear … if you get my drift.

Discuss Doug Brunell’s “Excess Hollywood” column in Film Threat’s BACK TALK section! Click here>>>

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