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By Steve Anderson | October 17, 2005

So what we have here is a whole lot of lousy actors in black and white. Not to mention some lousy scripting. Oh, there are entirely too many moments for me to try and pick them out individually and cite them for your benefit with time stamps as I usually do.

But plotwise, we’ve got a handful of—I’m guessing here—college students who can’t go more than three minutes without using the word “f**k”. Not to mention a couple of nymphomaniacs who couldn’t go TWO minutes without making out all over the scenery. The non-nymphomaniacs go wandering off into the woods, and get horribly lost. And about halfway through, we find out what’s really going on out here.

Purple is making zombies that like to take bites out of people.

The worst part is, I’m not kidding.

Occasional flashes of purple and fish-eye camera shots show up every so often, and bring with it mute human beings who wind up chewing on legs.

And as incomprehensible as the plot is, the engineering is also pretty lousy. The black and white is so pervasive that most of the footage ends up a blindingly bright white, and the glare is so awful I wanted to find sunglasses.

Which isn’t to say that “Evil Inside” is all that bad. This movie is probably the best MiSTie fodder I’ve seen in months. This is the KING of movies to make fun of, at least so far to date. There may be better, but I can’t name one. All those scenes I mentioned before? They leave themselves wide open to comic interpretation.

I really hope Jacob Hendrix meant for this to be a laugh riot, because I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING! The scripting, the acting, the effects, the occasional fish-eye camera shots, the bizarre black-and-white engineering…every last bit of it is twenty pounds of suck in a five pound sack. When you bring it all together, it’s like ammonia and chlorine—a big old vat of mustard gas and comedy.

And yet at the same time, “Evil Inside” has this kind of low-budget, amateurish appeal that is as inexplicable as it is undeniable. I really did enjoy it in a “I’ll never see this damn thing again” sort of way, but my first time through wasn’t without enjoyment.

In fact, this kind of wholehearted effort to produce a lousy product beats a whole lot of far bigger releases I could name.

The ending is, well…I think incomprehensible is probably the best word for it. Events happen, seemingly unrelated to anything that came before or will come after them. There’s something like an attempt at an explanation, but frankly, it doesn’t make a whole lot of what you’d call sense. Stick around after the credits for a full color blooper reel which is also really rather funny.

The special features include one trailer. That’s it. And it’s for “Evil Inside.”

All in all, “Evil Inside” was a nice try, and a really funny attempt, but man…it’s not all that coherent. It’s not very scary. And it’s not all that good. It’s funny, but not good. I’d call it good for a rental, if you could find it anywhere.

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