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By Eric Campos | January 26, 2004

At the risk of sounding like a total pansy, I’m gonna go right on ahead and say that watching the same six girls roll around naked with each other for 80 minutes just didn’t float my boat. What can I say? I guess I’m the guy that buys Playboy for the interesting articles. Or maybe I just need a little excitement in my nudie flicks.
I’m familiar with the line of Seduction Cinema videos and from what I know a lot of their stuff parodies popular movies and television shows, but with an erotic twist of course. Believing this to be the truth, I fired up this DVD and got ready to laugh and ogle naked bodies. Well, there was plenty of ogling going on, but there sure as hell ain’t any laughs involved. “Erotic Survivor 2” is a wilting exercise in pure boredom.
As I’m sure you’ve guessed, this is a parody on the “Survivor” television show, so in “Erotic Survivor 2” we have two teams with each team made up of three bikini clad, daisy duke wearing girls. The teams must compete against each other in various contests for points. These contests include dumping pennies from their boobs into a bucket, filling condoms with jello and engaging in a race while carrying a blow-up doll between their knees. After these three contests, the girl get to know each other a little better and both teams wind up combining for an every girl for herself competition. Anyways, the contests continue with one girl coming out at the end as the ultimate survivor.
Of course, all of the contests must be performed topless, but the real eroticism is supposed to come from the sex scenes the girls engage in with each other between the contests, but instead these scenes just induce a lot of yawning. I’ve seen hotter mack sessions on Skinemax and that’s bad!
Nobody involved in “Erotic Survivor 2” seems to have any excitement whatsoever in the project, not even the host, played by director John Bacchus, seems into it, in fact he looks downright miserable. This is perhaps the most depressing nudie flick I’ve ever seen in my life.
Also keeping “Erotic Survivor” from being any kind of interesting are the half-assed characters these girls are supposed to play. For example, one girl is a librarian studying the reproductive system and another girl is addicted to shopping at CVS. There are also some retarded staged catastrophes like one of the girls being carried off on a stretcher because she smeared her make-up. They should’ve just let these Seductive Cinema starlets be who they really are. That would’ve been more interesting. I want pure realism and death defying adventure in my “Survivor” fare. They should have gotten these girls to cross flaming bridges, do battle with rabid chimps and engage in a few rounds of dodgeball – it’s the sport of the future, you know.
“Erotic Survivor 2” – it’ll make you wish you were really watching “Survivor” or perhaps a real porno.

The Extras ^ Behind the Scenes Featurette ^ If the feature isn’t boring enough for you, here’s another 30 minutes or so of unused footage to knock you comatose. Some of these girls look so unenthused to be there that it seems they may start crying at any minute.

Trailers from other Seductive Cinema features.

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