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By Phil Hall | February 20, 2007

There’s nothing very funny about teenage pregnancy (particularly if you are the one with the newly-occupied uterus). Yet the well-meaning but inept “Don’t Become a Statistic” generates some unintentional giggles with its solemn public service announcement approach to warning underage girls away from the trap of too-early motherhood.

With 50 seconds to fill and a lot to say, this very short film tries to cram in as much as possible by flashing text across the screen at supersonic speed. Even a magma cum laude graduate of the Evelyn Wood Speed Reading School would be challenged to keep up with the amount of text that comes and go. For the most part, it appears that each year, “some 750,000 teenaged women ages 15 to 19 become pregnant.” Why? Because either “the condom breaks” (cue a photo of a rubber that appears to have been torn violently apart), or the girlie forgets to take her birth control (tsk tsk), or the randy lass assumes that sort of stuff happens to someone else. An example of such a lame-brain is presented with a chubby, bespectacled girl who moans (via a soundtrack voice that sounds as if the speaker had a mouthful of yams) “You never really think that you’ll be it.” The dumb chubby is then shown with what appears to be a medicine ball under her shirt.

This short ends with a plea for a visit to Planned Parenthood, either in person or via the organization’s web site. It is not likely a well-funded group like Planned Parenthood, with its sophisticated marketing machinery, approved or is even aware of this clumsy little stab at PSA production. Though in a way, it might actually be an effective production – it is hard to imagine anyone getting horned up for a quick bit of in-and-out after watching this film.

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