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By Daulton Dickey | August 30, 2005

Judging by its title and box art, one should have a sneaking suspicion of what they’re in for before they pop “Demon Sex” into their DVD player. There are only two ways a movie like this can go: 1.) a poor attempt at making softcore porn, or 2.) a fun, cheesy Troma-esque film. Unfortunately for those poor souls forced to watch this tripe, “Demon Sex” falls into the former category.

Being the worst presentation this reviewer has ever seen, attempting to synopsize this horrible, horrible film is almost an exercise in futility; but I will try nonetheless.

Aliens have slipped into society on Earth in an attempt to save their dying species. Hiding on this planet as hot, h***y women, they do a lot of screwing and vaguely attempt to retrieve a special alien DNA that will allow them to procreate. And if screwing doesn’t work, they’ll just kill. Why? Because when showing tits and beaver gets old, the filmmakers have to spice up the film with some good old fashioned violence.

Hands down the worst “movie” this reviewer has ever had the displeasure of seeing, “Demon Sex” is a film so badly and horribly made that one finds oneself fast forwarding past the interminable nudity sequences in hopes of getting to the end that much quicker.

The story, if it can be called that, is virtually non-existent. Long scenes of nudity form the basis of this movie, and the nudity is done in a way that makes it completely uninteresting; this was the first time in my life that I actually skipped past the T&A because it was boring.

Witness a ten-minute sequence in which a buff woman does the worst striptease in the history of bad stripteases. See also a three + minute sequence in which two completely naked women are swimming in an in-ground pool; shot in such a way that we don’t actually see any flesh, just some heads and the occasional feet popping out of the water.

The “scenes” in this film, interspersed between long sequences involving naked women and simulated sex, are so poorly executed that they make Ed Wood and Uwe Boll films seem like the second coming of Kurosawa and Eisenstein. The acting is offensive and dialogue relayed in allegedly important sequences have absolutely nothing to do with the story, plot, or characters. I simply fail to believe that a script was even written; it appears as though some dudes and a few women were thrown in a room, had a camera pointed at them, and were told to “wing it.” If there was a bona fide script, however, I hereby nominate its author to receive the first annual Illiterature award. This award has been created to name those horrible, horrible men and women making films today who deserve to have a camera and a CD containing the latest version of Final Draft shoved up, and permanently lodged in, their rectums. But then again, the geniuses behind “Demon Sex” would probably tape that process and release it on DVD for us poor saps to suffer through. Seriously, this movie is that bad.

I hereby want to apologize to the makers of “The Bunglers,” a film I previously blasted here on Film Threat. “The Bunglers” looks like “Citizen Kane” when compared to “Demon Sex.” Please, do yourself a favor, save the money you could waste on this offensively bad movie and watch paint dry, or grass grow, or ice melt. Certainly those options would prove more entertaining than sitting through this god-awful movie.

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