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CRABWALK

By Rory L. Aronsky | March 20, 2004

Gordon Mooner’s last name seems appropriate. He (Macon Blair) has been mooning life for as long as humanly possible. He’s 26-years old and still lives with the parental units, in their basement. He’s never held a job and it finally gets to the point that one day, Mom gives him his final $20 allowance and his father tells him to go out and earn his own money.  

Thus begins a quiet, thoughtful, and sometimes darkly funny journey, which takes Gordon through many places and changes. First, he’s forced to shear off his beard and dress in a suit, an ugly kinda _mocha-brown number, but hey, whatever works. Soon, he’s at the local swimming pool where he tries to find a job and ends up spending some time on the water slides, which leads to a scene where his underwear slides off in the pool. “It fell off while I was in there,” he exclaims.  

As his Dad won’t let him use the car, he’s forced to take the bus and soon takes his friend’s moped. One thing that’ll catch the people that watch this short is the DeLorean in the auto mechanic shop where Lonny (Matt Porterfield) works. At first, it looks too short to be a DeLorean, but sure enough it is, and “Back to the Future” fans will get a kick out of that. He also hangs out with another acquaintance named Kenneth who informs him that there’s no hiring being done where he works.  

Gordon seems like an everyday schmuck who just won’t face life. He seems to have no reason to get a job what with living in his parents’ basement and all, not to mention the fact that he hasn’t been out of the house that often. However, him getting out of the house to find a job is a great advantage for the viewer because “Crabwalk” is beautifully shot (filmed in Alexandria, Virginia) with the foliage all around and his encountering of many types of people, including a great sequence where he initially doesn’t pay his bill at a crab restaurant. There’s also a somewhat gross scene where Gordon sees his parents doing it in the kitchen and goes outside to puke. With that scene, Macon Blair was either really sick that day or he’s one of those people that can puke on command. It catches you off guard, but I couldn’t help but laugh. Bodily functions are still funny to me. 

Nevertheless, “Crabwalk” turns out to be a highly satisfying short that has a slacker character worth watching.

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