Apparently there’s a real bar in New York called Coyote Ugly, and it’s supposed to be one non-stop drunken party. Unfortunately, the shenanigans have been cleaned up to a PG-13 rating as a backdrop to the story of Jersey girl, Violet (Piper Perabo). Young Violet moves to bad old New York City to follow her dreams of becoming a hit songwriter. Sadly, all the songs seem to be ballads, and she writes them on the roof of her apartment building with the singing voice of Leann Rimes. The poor girl can’t bring herself to sing her own songs in front of an audience due to a severe case of stagefright.
There’s hope for her, though, in the form of her new bartending job at the East Village bar Coyote Ugly, and in the form of her new sensitive but sexy boyfriend (Adam Garcia). Of course, like all sensitive but sexy real men in the year 2000, he’s Australian. Wouldn’t you know it? Violet is soon singing along with the jukebox and dancing on the bar for the pleasure of her new (and very drunk) fans. Will she ever find the nerve to sing he own crappy little ballads? I think she’s gonna make it after all.
Well, this sucks. It is, by far, the dopiest movie I’ve seen since “Battlefield: Arrgh!” It is not meant, however, for me. Its target audience is about half my age. This is basically the PG-13 “Showgirls” for 14-year-old boys, and I’m sure, like I was by this sort of crap at that age, be thoroughly entertained. On the other hand, if, like me, you are actually old enough to enter the real Coyote Ugly, you will be better served by heading to that backroom in your local video store or renting something with a little more nuance such as producer Jerry Bruckheimer’s “Flashdance.”