CLEANFLICKS 4: SUCK IT LONG AND SUCK IT HARD. Image

Those of you keeping up on the Film Threat blogs may have remembered three of my personal entries dedicated to destroying those anal bum covers until their death. May they burn in whichever afterlife location they believe in.

It looks like their death came a lot faster than I expected. Let us congratulate our government for doing one thing right this year.

Click here for the story.

And sorry for all the SNL Jeopardy references to those of you who caught them. It’ll never happen again.

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  1. Dog pound says:

    Mikey, you gotta lotta anger boyee. I think it’s because you wrote some crappy film about a doll head (???) THAT NOBODY WOULD CARE TO EDIT. When I saw the plot, I shot Pepsi out my nose. (by the way that hurt). And dude, don’t blame it on your camera guy – that one is all you baby.

    But don’t quit. If you ever get good enough to do something besides some rag that only drunks will see at 3:00 am on the local cable station, you will find out editors get the works hacked, chopped and censored before it ever hits the big screen. Be like the little train, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

  2. jodi jean says:

    The Dr. Phil bit was my reaction to the hostility and nastiness – your post further proved my point.

  3. Dr. Phil? Are you an idiot? You want me to go to Dr. Phil to learn of a whole set of values, right? Let me put this into perspective for you.

    Dr. Phil is fat and he tells people how to lose weight. Dr. Phil is divorced, and yet millions of millions people follow his brilliant marriage advice.

    What the hell would this dude teach me about the world and its values? Put that in your mouth and chew it.

  4. jodi jean says:

    People who rent/purchase edited films are not just those with children. Editing movies is nothing new – it has been going on for decades and even SOME editing on network television.

    This is also NOT about renting American Pie and the like!! There are so many movies that editing companies wouldn’t even bother with, nor would their customers.

    PG-13 and R films dominate the movie industry – it is no wonder there is such a market for edited films. Film-making is about compromise. My husband is in charge of an organization – even he answers to other people.

    American movies are edited in some foreign markets. So what if I don’t care to see the boobies or hear the F-bombs – the way I’ve heard people rant on this site – the nastiness. It’s like you all should go to Dr. Phil – oh no! people have a different set of values than I do!! You are intolerant and clueless.

  5. That company is no better than the movie pirates from Malaysia. They are breaking the law, pure and simple, for the sake of ‘family-friendly entertainment.’ It’s an insult to filmmakers who pour out blood, sweat, and tears (not to mention time and creativity) to make beautiful (or not so beautiful) art which matches their original vision, only to have it butchered by some conservative, holier-than-thou jerks who think they have the right to commit blatant copyright infringement. If you don’t like the content of the movies nowadays, don’t watch them! Don’t rent them! Don’t buy them! Don’t go see them in the theaters! It’s bad enough that we have reprehensible organizations like the MPAA raping films! Leave our films alone! We suffer enough for our art.

    Anthony Spadaccini
    Director / Actor
    http://www.fleetstreetfilms.com

  6. Well said Mike.

    You can cut and edit films, but you can’t cut and edit imagination.

    American Pie is a group of guys trying to get laid. The kids know that, and their imagination lays out the rest.

    In Saving Private Ryan people are being blown to shred, and torched, and you edit that out and their imaginations do the rest.

    Imaginations can do much more than a film can.

    Can you believe that there are actually people like me that would pay to have someone edit out some language and nudity so that I can enjoy a movie with my kids? Why not expand your audience?

    I usually consider myself intelligent, but no intelligence in the world can measure the sheer absurdities placed in your comment/spin.

    If you want to watch a movie with your kids, watch a kid film! If you want to watch a film then don’t display an enormous amount of selfishness and force them to watch a movie you want, except edited.

    How about watching a film your kids want to watch?

    In fact, while your at it, don’t provide the movie in any other languages other than the one it was produced in, because hey, you can lose the director’s intent just in translation.

    I just have to cry. This can’t be serious.

    Displaying a different language is not even on the same plateau as chopping up a film to make it presentable to children.

    Do children really want to see “Basic Instinct 2” edited? What’s the point in that? Pure selfishness on behalf of the parents.

  7. That’s a pretty nice comment. Subtitles are different than violence and sexual content. Not making a movie for a kid is a LOT different than making a movie available for other language requirements.

    I understand the need for people to use CleanFlicks. I understand that people are idiotic and can’t realize that “The Passion” is a two hour gore fest NOT made for children. I understand that lazy parents want to show their kids something like “American Pie” – a film about a bunch of guys trying to lose their virginity. Take away the pie-f*****g, the cursing, etc., you STILL have a movie about kids trying to lose their virginity.

    But, I guess that’s okay, as long as mommy and daddy show them the edited kind.

    Remember Clean Please, just because the violence and boobies are gone, doesn’t mean your kids are dumb enough to miss the subject matter too.

  8. Clean Please says:

    Don’t you think there is a reason that people like me actually use CleanFlicks? If I really wanted to see the movie the way the director intended it I would just buy it or rent it at Blockbuster. Can you believe that there are actually people like me that would pay to have someone edit out some language and nudity so that I can enjoy a movie with my kids? Why not expand your audience? In fact, while your at it, don’t provide the movie in any other languages other than the one it was produced in, because hey, you can lose the director’s intent just in translation. “Titanic was made in English. If you can’t understand English, too bad. Don’t watch it.” Brilliant, just brilliant.

  9. I loved this article quote:

    “We’re disappointed,” CleanFlicks CEO Ray Lines said. “This is a typical case of David vs. Goliath, but in this case, Hollywood rewrote the ending. We’re going to continue to fight.”

    No, genius. This is a case of common sense versus idiocy.

  10. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

    The idea was utterly f*****g moronic to begin with.

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