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By Chris Parcellin | June 14, 2001

I’m a fan of sexy B-movies filled with hot chicks who like to get bare-assed and grapple with each other! I admit it. I’m a filthy bastard. But, that aside, I’m hardly alone in this seedy pursuit. There are a legion of h***y, perverse swine like myself out there buying up videos like “Mistress Frankenstein” and “Vampire’s Seduction”.

The object of my affection is a voluptuous, raven-haired vixen named Darian Caine. Caine resides near UMAss in Amherst, Massachusetts–a party-mad school that I was proud to be thrown out of some years back. (I lived in the notorious, drug-crazed Southwest section of the campus and drank like a seal. Where the hell was Darian then?!)

Anyway, Caine’s quickly building a solid rep as a star to be reckoned with on the underground horror movie circuit with flicks like “7 Spiritual Laws of Sex” and “GIRLexploresGIRL: The Alien Encounter”. Her upcoming role in “Erotic Witch 2: Book of Seduction” promises to be–in George Costanza’s words–another “nude-a-rama”. And since her resume includes appearances in magazines like “Swank” and “High Society” we can all rest assured that she’s got a bod worth gawkin’ at!

How’d you get into showbiz?
I started modeling for lingerie, and jewelry catalogs. Took some extra TV jobs. I was bored with that, so I decided to get into the nude modeling and acting thing. It was much more exciting. I was introduced to Stuart Young at Shadow Play Entertainment who got me my first job over at EI Cinema.

Did you always dream of starring in sexy films?
Yes, I always dreamed of being in half naked in B-horror movies! The sexy, comic, horror movies that Seduction Cinema does–that’s where the fun really began.

What’s the best part of being a b-movie starlet?
(LAUGHS) I don’t think of myself as that. The best part of being in these types of movies is meeting new people who are great to work with. Watching how it all comes together in the end. This industry is really laid back and comfortable. I have always been a fan of these films so it’s cool to be a part of it. Talking with the fans that like them as well.

So, what’s the worst part?
The last day of shooting wondering when the excitement will happen again.

What does it take to be a big time b-movie sex symbol these days?
Not a lot! (LAUGHS) Just kidding. Probably the same as it did before–keeping the fans seduced so you want to see more.

How do you avoid the “casting couch”?
Ouch! Unless you’re working for the same company its unavoidable.

Which role are you proudest of?
I would have to say “Mistress of Frankenstein”. I never thought I could pull off going from a tight-a*s lady–to a dead funny monster–to a sexy monster and get away with it!

Have you come across actresses who were jealous of your looks?
You hear about it, but I have only meet really helpful, sexy and kind actresses.

What do you do to stay looking so hot?
Thanks! I eat right, stay relaxed and get a good night sleep. Keeping healthy is a full-time job!

What is your ultimate goal?
To be cast in a classic horror film.

Who would you really like to work with?
Tina Krause and with Full Moon.

– Obviously, when it comes to women, writer Chris Parcellin is incredibly desperate. He spends far too much time at Darian Caine’s Official Web Site.

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