CEREBRAL PRINT:  THE SECRET FILES Image

Warning: For the select few of you out there who have been probed (anally or otherwise) by an extra-terrestrial, you may not find this film very funny. In fact, you may take offense that the act of probing is taken so lightly here. But for the rest of you, um, being probed by an alien sounds pretty funny, right? Good. I’m glad we’re all in agreement here. So let the good times roll.

A top secret government agency has developed a way to transfer the final living moments from the brains of dead extra-terrestrials to video files. And so, due to a genius hacker, these files have now been collected and arranged in this anthology-like feature, “Cerebral Print: The Secret Files.” These files are all presented to us as vignettes, each of which depicts the point of view of an alien being as it chases people down with what looks like a butt plug and proceeds to probe them. Many different walks of life and situations are represented here – you have a trick-or-treat probing, a fight with a midget that ends in a probing, an awards show that ends with a probing, hookers finding themselves on the receiving end of a good probing and the list goes on and on. Some of these shorts are better than others and again, whether you find this film funny or not depends on just how humorous you think alien probing is. If you think it’s hysterical, then there could possibly be comedy gold here for you because there sure is a lot of probing in these here hills. In fact, “Cerebral Print” may hold the world’s record of highest probing count in one single film ever. I think it could quite possibly hold the record for longest and slowest end credits roll, too. Man, that thing goes on for well over ten minutes. If all the probing doesn’t make your a*s sore, then the end credits will. You need to see it to believe it.

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