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By Steve Anderson | September 27, 2006

“We ain’t happy until the barf bag’s full!”

With a motto like that, you’ve got to be thinking that you’re in for something pretty big from Splatter Rampage Studios. And as it turns out, you’ll get something pretty big. Not, however, what you’d expect.

The barf bag may not fill up in “Carnage for the Destroyer”, but man…your funny bone may not survive.

So what we have here plotwise is those darned kids from Bonejack Heights, having a dandy time with assorted hijinks getting the haunted house ready for the annual Halloween celebrations. At least until one of the kids decides that, jeepers, it’s just not a haunted house until some ancient primal deity called The Destroyer gets his due. So, they dedicate the haunted house to The Destroyer, and–oh I know you saw this coming from six blocks back–The Destroyer actually shows up.

Which, of course, leads to no end of trouble. And blood. And pain. And…well…carnage? Yeah, carnage.

Wow. The first five minutes of this movie is just so ludicrous as to be beyond belief.

Okay, did I say five minutes?

Make it ten. Twenty. No, thirty. Oh hell, forget it. The whole movie is just one long strand of ludicrous. It’s low budget beyond low budget, but I tell you no small truth when I tell you that you won’t notice. Seriously, you won’t notice. You’ll be entirely too busy laughing.

I’d give you timestamps and examples, but there’s too many. There are so many ridiculous moments at mindless segues that I’d just be picking at random. And no one wants that.

Even when the horror portion of the movie kicks in, and The Destroyer starts laying waste, it’s still a laugh riot.

The special features (yes, there are special features!) include audio options, director’s commentary, cast and crew commentary, a behind the scenes featurette, a cast rehearsal featurette, and a three-minute commercial, described as the “Epic Metal Commercial”.

All in all, “Carnage for the Destroyer” is a low-budget bloodsport and comic gem disguised as total craptacular. It’s packed to the gills with laughs and even a little horror in the process.

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