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By Felix Vasquez Jr. | September 21, 2006

Normally, I go off about movies, and movie related topics.

But every so often, I feel inclined to discuss television, and to give you a better view into my tastes, discuss my favorite shows.

Television and I these days are really nothing but strangers. In the past, I’d find myself struggling to decided on whether to catch my favorite shows, or watch a movie on the movie channels, but those days are long gone. Those were the days when we actually had snow storms in New York, television didn’t need a cable box to be great, and the internet wasn’t as abundant.

Now, all I use my television for are cartoons, and movies. Don’t judge me. Cartoons are comforting. They’re like that plate of cookies, or that last masturbation session you always have to calm you down after a hard day. So, rather than go obese on a large plate of chocolate chip cookies, I simply put on some “Billy and Mandy,” or “Kids Next Door” and I’m set. And they come in handy after watching something as utterly heartbreaking as “When the Levees Broke” (GREAT documentary by the way).

These days, I rarely watch anything on network television or cable television, because there’s not much that catches my interest–and no way in hell do I watch reality shows. But when I do manage to find a show I can stick with, it’s quite a treat for me.

So, being that I have no other idea what to write for today’s entry, and because I love making lists, and because I’d like to just expose my rare shows I am in love with, here’s a small list of the small number of shows I watch regularly and can not miss.

So read the list and mock me (which I’m sure you will), or move on. Either way, enjoy.

Everybody Hates Chris
I love this show mainly because I grew up like this. I was the oldest of three, I wasn’t as popular as my little brother, my little sister was spoiled, I had a very strict mother who taught me lessons, we all had to share one television, we all fought, and my dad worked five jobs to break even financially, and could never really spend as much time as he could with us. One of best moments of the series is in the pilot which made break into hysterical laughter and brought a slight lump to my throat was when Chris’ father, a well meaning man, begins listing prices for food around the house. “That’s five dollars worth of chicken you just burnt!”, “That’s 49 cent of spilt milk drippin’ all over the table. Somebody gon’ drink this milk!” My dad performed the same routine on a daily basis. And the show is funny. The show is very funny.

30 Minute Meals with Rachael Ray
Judge me, insult me, do all you must, but Rachael Ray is really hot. She has a great behind, a moderate frontal area, and she’s very sexy. She’s also rich, and can cook, but beyond those qualities, she’s very good looking. Her personality is often off the wall and goofy, but she seems like a fun person, and her shows are usually very interesting. True, she only seems to cater to the middle class, but then so does Oprah, and The View, and every other facet. Hey, I just enjoy watching Rachael walking around and cooking.

Debrah Farentino, Salli Richardson, and Erica Cerra. I admit to not being a fan of the many shows on Sci Fi, but I really enjoy “Eureka,” for its original and weird premise. US agent stumbles upon secret town that houses the worlds best geniuses, he signs on as the sheriff, and he discovers the duties of sheriff involve stopping a death ray, and locking everyone up in jail after they become violent from a mysterious source. Colin Ferguson is hilarious here as the somewhat simple and put upon sheriff who has to deal with his rebellious daughter, psychotic computer house, a love triangle, and saving the world. There’s a wonderful ensemble cast including Erica Cerra as his militant deputy, Matt Frewer as an Australian veterinarian, Ed Quinn as Ferguson’s rival and foil, and the incomparable Joe Morton as the town mechanic and helpful hand Henry. It’s fun, and funny, and never afraid to be weird, and I love that about it.

I’ve only seen the pilot, and I already love this. It’s “Crash” meets the Marvel universe, and I flipped over it. Wonderful acting, top notch direction, and a massive plot I hope lasts for at least one season. This places the superhero lore down into the real world, and never camps it up. Look for Hayden Panetierre as an unbreakable cheerleader. It’s a wonderful show. I can’t wait for Monday.

Veronica Mars
So, season two wasn’t all that good. There were many, many sub-plots and a finale that was anti-climactic, but I love this show. I saw the entire season one in one shot, and it really managed to stick as a surefire favorite of mine. Part “Nancy Drew,” part “Lois Lane,” and part “MacMillan and Wife,” this is a wonderful teen murder mystery serial, and who could not love Kristen Bell? She’s hot, but as the spunky Veronica Mars, she’s even hotter. And Enrico Colantoni is priceless.

This is yet another underrated comedy that’s miraculously lasted six seasons on NBC in spite of the constant time slot changes, and cancellations. Fans of the show are very committed, and it’s thanks to them that “Scrubs” has been on for six seasons and is coming back for yet another season. Zach Braff is hysterical, John C. McGinley is brilliant, and the show just never gets old. Last year featured the hilarious guest spot from Mandy Moore, and now Elizabeth Banks is on the series. Give this show a chance if you haven’t already, it deserves that.

It’s the “Hardy Boys” meets “The X-Files” with an interesting premise, and compelling characters. Sure it’s on the CW, but it’s a fun and creepy series with a damn fine storyline involving a powerful revolver that can stop demons. Season one provided an excellent finale with a shocking final scene, and I hope the second season is even better.

My Name is Earl
I love Jason Lee, I think he’s a great actor who has been in a lot of turkeys. I’m glad he found his hit with “My Name is Earl,” because it’s a hilarious show with people like Ethan Suplee and Jaime Pressley providing great supporting performances. Most of all though, Lee who has always been great as the sharp tongued wise a*s transforms into the simple minded naive Earl without fail, and makes the show worth watching. But the show is also hilarious, take for example the episode where Giovanni Ribisi convinces the group to help him steal from an office and, in a feeble attempt to move out a printer, mistakenly barricade themselves inside.

What with the dawn of the new season of television, a list is only proper. I’ll be watching out for these shows to come. Even if I rarely watch anything else. As for what I watch in-between, well, there are movies. And movies. And, more movies.

Surprised, much?

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