BLAME FLORIDA! Image

BLAME FLORIDA!

By Film Threat Staff | November 11, 2000

Blame Jake Schwartz and Elizabeth Chanley for this outstanding tribute to what has to be the weirdest election ever. If you know the tune to the “South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut” ditty “Blame Canada” then you’re ready for the sing-a-long:
“Blame Florida” ^ by Jake Schwartz and Elizabeth Chanley ^ (sung to the tune of “Blame Canada”)
[ Dan Rather: ] Times have changed ^ The voters are appalled ^ The networks called it twice ^ But now the count has been recalled ^ Should we blame Lewinsky? ^ [ Tim Russert: ] Or should we blame the Greens? ^ [ Bernard Wolf: ] Or should we blame my grandma in Palm Beach?
[ Tom Brokaw: ] Heck NO, blame Florida ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ [ Brokaw: ] It’s the God Damn Sunshine State! ^ They’re a bunch of reprobates ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ Blame Florida ^ [ Brokaw: ] There are votes from absentees ^ That are hidden in the trees!
[ Jeb Bush: ] Don’t blame me ^ For my state’s recall ^ I tried to pay them off, ^ But my parents dropped the ball!
[ Barbara Bush: ] My boy Georgie once ^ drove drunk in Eastern Maine ^ But who thought that the vote would be this close ^ with him and his ^ cocaine?
[ Cokie Roberts: ] Well, blame Florida ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ It seems that everything’s gone wrong ^ How did Bush come out so strong ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ Blame Florida ^ [ Peter Jennings: ] They should’ve stuck to oranges all along.
[ Joe Lieberman: ] I’ll still be in the Senate, even if ^ they say we lose ^ But if we do, I’ll be a shmuck–that state is full ^ of Jews!
[ Everyone: ] Should we blame Buchanan? ^ He’s distasteful on the palette ^ And were the voters so blind that they couldn’t ^ read the ballot? ^ Heck no!
[ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ Blame Florida ^ With their Elian Gonzalez ^ [ Leiberman: ] I should have worn my Talis! ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ Shame on Florida ^ The absurdity must stop ^ Electoral’s are a crock! ^ Beaches and sun ^ must all be undone ^ We must blame them and cause a fuss ^ [ BEFORE SOMEONE THINKS OF BLAMING US. ]

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