Blame Jake Schwartz and Elizabeth Chanley for this outstanding tribute to what has to be the weirdest election ever. If you know the tune to the “South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut” ditty “Blame Canada” then you’re ready for the sing-a-long:
“Blame Florida” ^ by Jake Schwartz and Elizabeth Chanley ^ (sung to the tune of “Blame Canada”)
[ Dan Rather: ] Times have changed ^ The voters are appalled ^ The networks called it twice ^ But now the count has been recalled ^ Should we blame Lewinsky? ^ [ Tim Russert: ] Or should we blame the Greens? ^ [ Bernard Wolf: ] Or should we blame my grandma in Palm Beach?
[ Tom Brokaw: ] Heck NO, blame Florida ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ [ Brokaw: ] It’s the God Damn Sunshine State! ^ They’re a bunch of reprobates ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ Blame Florida ^ [ Brokaw: ] There are votes from absentees ^ That are hidden in the trees!
[ Jeb Bush: ] Don’t blame me ^ For my state’s recall ^ I tried to pay them off, ^ But my parents dropped the ball!
[ Barbara Bush: ] My boy Georgie once ^ drove drunk in Eastern Maine ^ But who thought that the vote would be this close ^ with him and his ^ cocaine?
[ Cokie Roberts: ] Well, blame Florida ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ It seems that everything’s gone wrong ^ How did Bush come out so strong ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ Blame Florida ^ [ Peter Jennings: ] They should’ve stuck to oranges all along.
[ Joe Lieberman: ] I’ll still be in the Senate, even if ^ they say we lose ^ But if we do, I’ll be a shmuck–that state is full ^ of Jews!
[ Everyone: ] Should we blame Buchanan? ^ He’s distasteful on the palette ^ And were the voters so blind that they couldn’t ^ read the ballot? ^ Heck no!
[ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ Blame Florida ^ With their Elian Gonzalez ^ [ Leiberman: ] I should have worn my Talis! ^ [ Everyone: ] Blame Florida ^ Shame on Florida ^ The absurdity must stop ^ Electoral’s are a crock! ^ Beaches and sun ^ must all be undone ^ We must blame them and cause a fuss ^ [ BEFORE SOMEONE THINKS OF BLAMING US. ]
