This is the story of two women. Dorothy (Susan Lynch) finds her apartment trashed by her violent junkie boyfriend Tony (Iain Glen), who was frustrated that he couldn’t do the same to her first. On the way to the bus, Dorothy stumbles across Petula (Rachel Weisz) in the middle of a beating from her boyfriend, Brian (Tom Mannion). In an attempt to stop him, Dorothy accidentally kills Brian. The two women then team up to hide the body and come up with a scheme to ransom Brian to his rich, violent brother Ronnie (Maurice Roeves), who believes Brian to still be alive. A corrupt detective (Alex Norton) comes sniffing around, as does a very messed-up Tony. Ill-conceived hijinx ensue.
I believe writer Simon Donald had delusions of this story being some sort of wacky, British “Thelma and Louise”. What he and first-time feature director Bill Eagles should have really gone for is a full-on revenge fantasy more like “I Spit On Your Grave”. Of course that film not only knew what it was but also had much better characterization that this mess. All of the men in “Beautiful Creatures” only range from extremely creepy to extremely psychotic. To them, chicks are people you can freely inflict yourself upon. The whole film comes off like a conversation you might overhear between two drunken fratboys who think they’re really funny and politically incorrect, but are actually just a pair of women-hating a******s. Much of the other attempted “sick” humor is okay, but the manner in which the female characters are treated just leaves a bad taste. All I can think is that somebody on the filmmaking team had some issues, and they really need to work them out on their own time.
