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By Mark Bell | April 15, 2007

You either get it or you don’t. If you get it, you’ve probably already seen the film and don’t need to hear what I think of it. If you don’t get it, I don’t think I can explain it to you. “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters” is an unapologetic exercise in its own inside-jokery for its already in-place fan-base, and you’re either in for the ride, or you’re not.

The film basically revolves around the Aqua Teen Hunger Force members Frylock, Meatwad and Master Shake’s interest in building a super-duper home exercise gym called the Insanoflex, and what happens after they do, which includes such nonsense as: a running chicken on fire, a time travelling Abe Lincoln, kinky robot humping from the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future and Neil Peart from Rush as a life-bringing drummer from the inside of a watermelon. Still with me? Because that’s all I got, you want to know more about the “plot,” you go see the damn film yourself.

Essentially, “Aqua Teen…” is a made-for-DVD film that somehow snuck its way into a theatrical release. Sure, the show has a cult following, and it will make back its meager, under-a-million-dollars budget easily, but it could’ve just as easily found its way straight to Best Buy and all would’ve been fine. Am I glad I got to see it in the theater? Yes, but I also still have no idea how to describe for you what I just saw, at least not to the extent that it would sway your interest (or lack of interest) one way or the other. As I said, you either already made up your mind to see it, or you didn’t.

The film does have one of the best opening “quiet in the theater” medleys I’ve ever seen, so good I think it should play before EVERY film, despite its use of “f**k” (or especially because of its use of “f**k”). Oh, and those Mooninites, you know, the ones who caused a bomb scare in Boston… they’re awesome. Speaking of which, I know that the mayor of Boston is all upset about the film and… if he sees what all the fuss is about, he’s going to feel like the biggest dumb-a*s. For serious, everyone getting all self-righteous about a film with a DJ, who just happens to be a fly from Hell, sucking on a white dried-out dog turd?

If you’re a fan of “Aqua Teen,” see this movie. If you’re drunk and/or stoned, see this movie. If you think you might be drunk and/or stoned in the future, and hankering to see a film, then see this movie. If you value plot and like your animation to be Disney-perfect, do not see this movie.

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