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By Felix Vasquez Jr. | September 19, 2006

Anime and I rarely ever get along.

As you’d guess, the only anime I really love are the horror oriented ones, but then there’s Miyazaki whom I don’t count as anime, since his films transcend any sort of simple genre tag. His films are moving works of art.

Listing the actual anime I enjoy would be a list you could count on your fingers.

The “Vampire Hunter D” series, “Guyver,” “Blood: The Last Vampire,” “Akira,” “Witch Hunter Robin”… and that’s really it. As you can tell, I drift to the horror themed anime.

I’ve tried to get into it, but most times I find myself zoning out during the airings of anime during Adult Swim, or just finding the same routine mediocre junk I find all the time. I mean sure for a while I was interested in “Cowboy Bebop,” and I peruse “Trigun” every now and then, but I can’t see myself buying boxed sets of either of these shows any time soon.

Maybe I just don’t get it, but I’ve found much of what’s been shown on television as “prime” anime, has been nothing but the usual utterly boring junk that I could never get into.

As a child, my big cousin was a pure anime freak. He had posters, lithographs, action figures, models, Gundam, and especially, he had a massive collection of the Dragon Ball Z series, including its contemporaries, and every time we went to his home, he’d have my brother and I sit through hours of anime.

Even then it just wasn’t interesting. “Dragon Ball Z” is one in particular that I’ve never found much interest in. Whether cleaned up in American form or in its original bloody prime, I just could never get into it. Then there was “Pokemon,” and “Yu-Gi-Oh,” and “Digimon,” and the list goes on.

Anime’s created a real boom in this country for at least twenty years, and I laughed pretty hard when in 2004, Yahoo! News reported on the new craze called anime. It just goes to show how up to date the media can tend to be. I’m still waiting for their report on the controversial nature of hip hop.

Probably some of the worst have been “Bobobo Bobobobo,” which features an afroed pimp hero with long nose hairs, “Yu-Gi-Oh” which is an utterly brainless cartoon created solely to sell game cards, and then “Pokemon” which just will not die. “Pokemon,” much like “Power Rangers,” is a show the cable channel it airs on will continue to air until the show dies.

See, “Pokemon” is just the re-airing re-dubbed version of the original series, where as “Power Rangers” takes footage from its original show Super Sentai, which is the same basic plot. All they do is take footage, and splice in American actors who look like they jumped out of the CW.

I admit to being a “Power Rangers” freak for a long time, but alas, it’s still a pretty bad show. “Pokemon” won’t end for a while, and then there’s crappier crap (so to speak) like “Naruto,” and “Milk Chan.”

I just don’t understand the endless stream of anime junk.

Which is a hilarious thought considering my favorite films “Oldboy,” and “Battle Royale” were once manga.

One of the best stores in my neighborhood “Games and Wireless” has a staff of utterly knowledgable and friendly people. They know movies, they know customers, and they spot me free discounts. So, to appease the teen crowd, they have a huge supply of anime. Nearly the entire staff is Japanese, and they’re constantly confronted with kids who ask their opinion on Anime, and they really don’t like it either, yet have to feign interest to sell merchandise.

And I stand there hearing the kids talk about these series, and I just don’t understand the hype with it. They talk of monsters, and robots, and issues of graphic novels, and I just stand there like a man in the middle of a conversation with women. You know they’re talking English, but damned if you can understand, catch up, or bring interest to what they’re saying.

Watching an episode of “Sex and the City” is much like that, too. But, I digress.

And getting into a series is impossible. Especially on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim who air series for a while, hype them for three months, play them for three months out of sequence, and cancel them to never play them again. It’s a damn shame.

I tried getting into “Trinity Blood” and god damn it, in spite of its interesting premise, I just can’t get into it. And then there was “Samurai 7” which an anime re-working of the Kurosawa masterpiece, and again, boring as hell and tedious. I think it’s my natural aversion to take on a new hobby that can eat my money. I’m technically poor.

It’s why I’m not a gamer, or a Trekkie, or a crack head, or a child porn aficionado.

But hey, even the worse anime is better than “Bratz.”

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  1. Uncle Happy says:

    I’ll agree with you completely on this issue, as many anime are tedious. I look at anime the same way I do everything. That is, you aren’t going to like all of the stuff, but you might like a little of it. Other the previously reccomended Monster, try giving Blue Submarine No.6 a look. It’s not new, but it’s one the better series I’ve seen and deals with issues that don’t involve collecting cards or monsters that repeat their names over and over.

  2. Felix Vasquez Jr. says:

    Me have guts. Me have big gut. Eat too much cheese.

  3. Scrabble says:

    Thank you, Felix! Anime is little more to me than silly-looking drawings with HUUUUGE eyes, two dots for noses and no lips. I’ve tried to give it a chance, but like you, I get nothing out of it. Thanks for having the guts to stand up and say “It ain’t all that.”

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