Hey, you guys ever see “Bachelor Party”? You know, that one movie that starred Tom Hanks when he was kinda cool? Well, take him and all of his hilarious buddies and just yank the comedy right out of them and you have something that resembles “5 Card Stud.”
The film starts out like your basic “guys out on a sex hunt” film with a small gathering of friends playing cards and talking about the sexual exploitations they’ve had…or wished they had. There’s a nice mix of characters here, so I figured maybe things wouldn’t go awry like when a bear wipes his ass on a cactus. Now that’s trouble. Anyways, there’s the few totally horndog guys who would screw anything that moves, the guy in a committed relationship who doesn’t get along with his lover and the guy who hasn’t had a date in a couple of years.
Now, this brings me to an interesting point, because this guy, the one who hasn’t had any female companionship in awhile, is a bartender. Yeah, he’s also an aspiring screenwriter, but does everyone see the character flaw here? A bartender, be it male or female, being lonely? BULLSHIT! Funny thing is, this guy has the total Sam Malone hairstyle going on too and he still can’t get any play.
So anyways, at a party, he hits on his buddy’s attractive neighbor, who he knowingly has a boyfriend who is out of the country for six weeks. A nice little affair buds between the both of them, but it’s when the boyfriend comes back home is when the shit hits the fan. Not in a very exciting way mind you.
From here on in, watching this film is like witnessing a lover’s spat between to people you really don’t give a shit about. All you want them to do is shut the hell up. Boo!