What a colossal bore! 3 1/2 hours of montages and songs from that damn movie “Enchanted” (which was silly, we all knew that there was no way any of the “Enchanted” songs would win). As each year goes on, I find myself wondering why I even watch. Most times I declare that this year is my last. And then I go back on my declaration every time.

I can’t be too critical this time around, however, as I didn’t really pay too much attention to the Academy Awards. I tried, whenever they actually announced an award winner I watched, but for the most part I and Film Threat founder Chris Gore played Rock Band on my XBox 360 (if you tuned into the webcam feed on the frontpage, you saw my guitar prowess and Gore’s caterwauling). I couldn’t help it, I was just bored out of my gourd.

For the most part, there were very few surprises. Daniel Day-Lewis took the Best Actor, “No Country…” took Best Picture and got a Best Director award for the Coen Brothers (while I did not predict this, it wasn’t surprising) and a Best Supporting Actor award for Javier Bardem. “The Bourne Ultimatum” took the sound mixing, editing and then the main editing awards (wait until next year, the prequel “The Bourne Penultimatum” will take Best Picture for sure), Diablo Cody got to s**t on the heads of all the naysayers with her Original Screenplay win for “Juno,” and “Falling Slowly” performed just like all of us fans of “Once” hoped it would, taking the Original Song prize.

There was one huge upset, however, and that was in the Best Actress category. While everyone I talked to expected Julie Christie to run away with the award, Marion Cotillard stepped in and snatched it away. Oh, and in a lesser way, “The Golden Compass” taking Best Visual Effects from “Transformers” was kind of an upset (it must have been the polar bears). Well, technically the entire event was an upset if you followed any of my predictions, which were woefully unimpressive. I did better last year, but not by much…

2008 Oscar Prediction Success Rate:
Film Threat: 7 for 24 (29% correct)

The rest of 2008 is upon us now, and I have no more time for awards shows (I had very little time for them before, and I’ve slowly learned that I’ve got no skills in predicting s**t, so why even watch anymore). At the end of the day, my enjoyment of the Oscars is directly proportional to my ability to stay in touch with who should win. I’m out of touch with the Academy Awards… and I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

– Mark Bell, Drank Your Milkshake… Ate Your Steak… Stole Your Car…

The full list of winners for the 2008 Academy Awards:
Best Motion Picture: ““No Country for Old Men”
Lead Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, “There Will Be Blood”
Lead Actress: Marion Cotillard, “La Vie en Rose”
Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, “No Country for Old Men”
Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, “Michael Clayton”
Directing: Joel and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men”
Foreign Language Film: “The Counterfeiters,” Austria
Adapted Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men”
Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, “Juno”
Animated Feature Film: “Ratatouille”
Art Direction: “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
Cinematography: “There Will Be Blood”
Sound Mixing: “The Bourne Ultimatum”
Sound Editing: “The Bourne Ultimatum”
Original Score: “Atonement,” Dario Marianelli
Original Song: “Falling Slowly” from “Once,” Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová
Costume: “Elizabeth: The Golden Age”
Documentary Feature: “Taxi to the Dark Side”
Documentary Short Subject: “Freeheld”
Film Editing: “The Bourne Ultimatum”
Makeup: “La Vie en Rose”
Animated Short Film: “Peter and the Wolf”
Live Action Short Film: “Le Mozart de Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)”
Visual Effects: “The Golden Compass”

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