Here though, the only part that is blown out of proportion is how disgusting Dad is. He sneezes all over his hands and licks them clean. He scratches his butt in full view of their guests and other such nasty behavior. However, even when the toxic sludge turns dead folks into zombies, everything else is mundane and too realistic to fit into the world that Dad and Mae exist in.
It’s an odd dichotomy that makes for a tonally awkward film. Toxic Schlock is not helped by how little actually happens. Over the course of an hour and a half, there are a handful of very boring kills by the Seaside Strangler (whose identity is far too easy to guess), a lot of talking that goes nowhere. Gav and Lucy have a similar conversation about whether to tell Peter they are together or not at least a million times, or it feels like that is how often they drone on about it.
Not helping matters is the fact that half the cast is terrible in the film. Simon Berry, Chris Mills, and Rebecca Rolph are expressionless. When discussing their latest successful coup and when reacting to Dad’s cross-dressing ways, their delivery is all monotone and filled with nothing but dull surprised.
“… of the seaside town the movie takes place in; how exciting!’
Conversely, the family members are better overall. While good might be stretching it a bit, there is a charming confidence and absolute conviction to their portrayals. Payne walks around in ill-fitting lingerie as if it is the most natural thing in the world, and there is some amusement to be had as he haggles all the money out of Peter’s wallet. Cindy Valentine acts much younger than she appears and ably sells the overly emotional confusion her stunted growth causes.
For me, Toxic Schlock should have introduced the zombies, who are brought back by toxic waste, between the 30 and 40-minute mark. This would have turned the film into a story of six people, half of who don’t know the other half at all, having to figure out how to survive. All the while, they would have to contend with the fact that one of them must be the Seaside Strangler.
Instead, the audience will thrill as people sit around and talk about their relationship with each other. And they’ll gasp as those relationships are kept a secret from others. They’ll get to go on a tour of the seaside town the movie takes place in; how exciting!
And that is the film until it has 10, maybe 15 minutes left. That means Toxic Schlock, despite some of the cast members really committing to their roles, is boring. Not much happens, and the audience won’t care when it does. Skip it and watch Toxic Tutu instead.
"…While good might be stretching it a bit, there is a charming confidence"
