If you ever knew about the NXIVM cult and its leader, Keith Raniere, then you might be familiar with The Narcissist’s Playbook director Mark Vicente (HBO’s The Vow), who for years fell under Raniere’s spell and felt inspired to direct this documentary on narcissists. What is a “narcissist”? An individual who displays an extreme preoccupation with themselves, an inflated sense of self-importance, and an underlying lack of empathy.
The film starts with an intriguing character, Professor Sam Vaknin, who pulls no punches and admits he himself is a narcissist. He even takes it a step further and describes himself as the “godfather” of the subject. Sounds like a narcissist, right? Vaknin, having been a victim of his own narcissism, has reformed and dived deep into what makes someone that way. To give back, he now provides lectures and therapy to those who have been harmed by narcissists and teaches them how they can overcome the abuse. These lectures eventually led Vaknin to work with Richard Grannon, who suffered his own abuse and has also dedicated his energy to helping others. As a viewer, there does seem to be a camaraderie between the two that makes you feel they’re a good match. As they say, two minds are better than one.
Throughout the documentary, two more well-known subjects are interviewed and give their own testimonials: actress Evan Rachel Wood and director Barry Sonnenfeld. Evan Rachel Wood is probably the more well-known of the two, as she suffered abuse at the hands of Marilyn Manson. I honestly felt that although she was a “name” to draw people in, her appearance felt redundant if you’ve seen her own documentary, Phoenix Rising. I will say that, at least, Vicente uses animation as B-roll to tell her story rather than relying solely on talking-head interviews or still photographs.
“Vicente turns narcissistic abuse into something audiences can recognize before it consumes them.”
Initially, I wanted to look at this documentary as a learning piece. Some documentaries you watch for entertainment; I wanted to be educated, and I was. What I didn’t expect was when the film introduces us to Isla Traquair, an award-winning journalist. Unlike the others, she hasn’t suffered abuse or is a narcissist, but she has a strong background using her investigative skills to catch criminals. Vicente slowly shows Traquair working with a woman who’s been abused by a narcissist, and it looks like a form of therapy or her collecting information and facts that might lead to a suspect. The woman’s interview really opens up the film and provides a third act that apparently changed the whole original story Vicente intended to tell.
When I think about narcissists, it’s almost like the idea behind John Carpenter’s They Live. There’s a line from a character in the movie: “Wake up! They’re all about you! All around you!” We function in this world as humans, and the narcissists are the aliens carrying out their marching orders while we remain oblivious. It takes a real street fight, like the one between Roddy Piper and Keith David, to get someone to realize they’re under the spell of a narcissist. Most of us feel as though we know who they are and what they’re about, but the good ones are real vampires, slowly sucking the life out of us. If you think there’s an alien around you, maybe this documentary can be the sunglasses that open your eyes.
"…The good ones are real vampires, slowly sucking the life out of us."
