You’ve heard of snakes on a plane, now get ready for demons on a train in director Jon Keeyes’ Speed Demon, the story of a bedeviled runaway locomotive whose passengers’ only hope for survival (and salvation!) rests on a coke fiend nun who must rediscover her faith before the train reaches its terminus in hell.
Sister Lu (Katie Cassidy) is at a crossroads: a Catholic nun, her piousness is hard to spot because, try as she might, she just can’t turn down a drink, a bump of booger sugar, and the odd bit of non-celibacy. Her supervisor, Father Novak (William H. Macy), the Catholic church’s premier exorcist, is more disappointed than angry at this young woman he considers his protégé, so when they get on a train in Montreal heading to New York, it might be their last ride together. Then, an evil spirit takes hold of a passenger, and Sister Lu must exorcise her demons, both personal and professional.
Speed Demon lives up to its name as a wild ride that doesn’t let its mad libs style plot, rote dialogue, and predictable story detract from the overall spectacle of seeing a fallen nun take on a demon wreaking havoc on a commuter train as upstate New York whizzes by. There are rough patches, but they quickly recede in the distance as Speed Demon hurtles along, always on to the next bit, and often playing out two scenes at the same time.
“…the story of a bedeviled runaway locomotive whose passengers’ only hope for survival rests on a coke fiend nun…”
It’s an incredibly simple movie that lets Keeyes and writer Domenico Salvaggio get away with a wacky premise and then indulge it further as Sister Lu battles evil with what’s available from the bar cart, along with a motley crew of fellow passengers that counts everything from a pugnacious old man (Allen McCullough) to a precocious adolescent (Sky Vaux Fuller).
Making the exorcism a group project lends the movie a slight ensemble piece quality, but it’s actually when Speed Demon tries to do too much that it loses steam, keen to weave in some genuine trauma from Sister Lu’s past while also attempting to do horror and comedy at the same time. That’s a tonally tough balancing act, and not everyone is Sam Raimi. That applies to Jon Keeyes as well.
What redeems Keeyes’ movie is its novelty. More than just the premise, it is a welcome departure in a genre long confined to dank crypts and dusty old mansions with protagonists cast in the same mold of austere old men. Speed Demon doesn’t ask a lot from you except that you come along for the ride, and that’s an offer that’s hard to turn down.
"…a wild ride..."
