Open House 1-4 Image

Open House 1-4

By Brian Shaer | April 9, 2020

If you have ever visited the exclusive enclaves of the mega-rich (Palm Beach, Beverly Hills, the Hamptons), then this quickie might seem less like a commentary on social class and ethnic profiling and more like a documentary. Open House 1-4 efficiently makes its point in less than 10 minutes. Yet while the proceedings are entertainingly loopy, this short film thinks it’s more profound than it actually is.

The job of selling a beautiful, gleaming, suburban Naples, Florida, McMansion falls to an unnamed realtor (Tanya Christiansen). The realtor certainly paints a picture of suburban real estate perfection, possessing the blonde, kewpie doll look of Kristen Chenoweth, and the sunshiney-ness of a young Goldie Hawn.

So attuned to her product is this realtor that when interested buyers arrive at the open house, she is hosting, she immediately sizes them up by scanning the potential marks from head to toe for indications of wealth. No way is this woman going to waste her time trying to sell a house to some unworthy schlub whom she knows cannot afford it.

“…the realtor hurries to the front door and tries her darndest to politely shoo the obviously unqualified undesirables away.”

Luckily, the folks who stop by the open house are, for the most part, worthy of the realtor’s pitch. For the white, affluent, senior couples that show up to the open house, she graciously and exuberantly presents the grand tour and emphasizes all the luxe accouterments of the home, like the Legno Bastone flooring and John Richards chandeliers.

Eventually, however, the unthinkable happens: a pair of Cubanos (Chellie Garcia and Mauricio Bermudez) roll up to the front of the house, Latin music blaring from their hubcap-less sedan. This will not do. While a waspy husband and wife (J.J. Crowne and Donna Rae Allen) wait upstairs, the realtor hurries to the front door and tries her darndest to politely shoo the obviously unqualified undesirables away.

I won’t go into much more detail because the movie does have some fun twists and turns that are best left discovered by the audience. Suffice it to say that the remainder of the story involves a pair of thieves working the area open houses, mistaken identities, and the gradual unraveling of our dear realtor’s sanity.

Open House 1-4 (2020)

Directed and Written: Brad Holloway

Starring: Tanya Christiansen, Chellie Garcia, Mauricio Bermudez, J.J. Crowne, Donna Rae Allen, Jamie Molina, Brian Ballance, L.J. Ugarte, etc.

Movie score: 8/10

Open House 1-4 Image

"…efficiently makes its point in less than 10 minutes."

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