Everyone needs to be on the same page to move forward properly. So, here are the important things to know: The Witch is a bad movie. It is poorly paced, awkwardly acted, and trades in several tropes of the genre. But the ending is pretty great. The Lighthouse is a gonzo piece of art that works on every level. The Northman is overly long but beautifully shot and very engaging. With that in mind, how does writer-director Robert Eggers’s remake of Nosferatu hold up?
Thomas (Nicholas Hoult) recently married to Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp). The new wife has a history of mental maladies and convulsions, though when with her husband, her psychological and physical health seems to stabilize. Unfortunately for Ellen, Thomas is being sent by the real estate firm he works for on a trip to a country several weeks horse ride away. Should he be successful in this endeavor, the young man will not only be handsomely compensated by the mysterious count he’s to meet but also become a full partner in the firm. Thomas desires this very much, though Ellen does not care for money or societal rules and appearances.
“…Ellen’s problems are caused by the same Count Orlok holding Thomas.”
After an unsettling encounter with traveling Roma, Thomas makes his way to the foreboding castle of Count Orlok (Bill Skarsgård). Here, Orlok makes the man uncomfortable from the start, in part because the lord demands Thomas not to leave despite his determination to see his love again. Back in Germany, Ellen is staying with Friedrich (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and his family, though her returning and recurring issues are proving more than they can bear. So with the help of the well-meaning Dr. Sievers (Ralph Ineson), Friedrich employs the eccentric Albin Eberhart von Franz (Willem Dafoe), who deduces that Ellen’s problems are caused by the same Count Orlok holding Thomas. But Orlok is on his way to Ellen, which brings trouble to the entire town, not just Ellen and Thomas and their friends.
Nosferatu is a failure on almost every level. Depp is hopelessly out of her depth, failing to portray mental anguish convincingly. Her body shaking during the seizures/convulsions is very cartoony and over-the-top, turning what should be intense and dramatic into something silly. I literally laughed out loud in my packed theater every time she convulsed. Hoult, a typically reliable and affable screen presence, is also not very good here. He comes across as inauthentic and stiff. Perhaps that was intentional to showcase how the character thinks societal norms are necessary but don’t suit him. However, if that is the case, the characterization and writing do a piss poor job of establishing that. But worst of all, it is just how little chemistry these two have. They never come across as truly in love, which harms much of the story’s payoff.
Skarsgård is awkward at best. Eggers has him do this heavy-breathing thing that is more annoying than off-putting/creepy. It doesn’t help that Orlok is overly designed and looks rubbery and fake, never becoming a fully fleshed being on the silver screen. Every appearance of him is a reminder that this is fake, keeping all watching at arm’s distance. Still, if the actor were to bring out a sense of menace, perhaps all this could still work. But no, he just has a gravelly voice and lets the admittedly impressive shadow effects do all the heavy lifting for him. Dafoe is also just odd. He plays the character as excited by everything having to do with this nosferatu and its curse. Unfortunately, this exuberance rubs up against the solemn manner to obtain “salvation,” so the dramatic weight of what this means never comes through properly.
"…[elicits] unintentional laughter and boredom and little else."
I assume this review was made just as flame bait. It’s not even clear that the writer has seen the movie enough to discuss it in any kind of detail so most of the complaints amount to “casting bad”, “language bad”, “director’s other films bad.” Too bad. I thought film threat was above that kind of mindless engagement seeking.
I actually thought Aaron Taylor-Johnson was the worst thing about Nosferatu
Laughing out loud in a crowded theatre while watching a horror film is something a 14 year old would brag about. It was hard to take this review seriously after reading that line.
You don’t seem to know, or understand (both?), how a review of a piece of art works. So, allow me to break it down for you. I will be sure to use small words so you follow along without injuring yourself: a review is to allow the reader what does and does not work within the art in question. Therefore, if it causes laughter when it should not, it is clearly not doing its intended job well. Thus, it was not a brag, and only a simple-minded a*****e would presume it was, but part of the explanation as to why the art in question (in this case, the 2024 remake of Nosferatu) fails to work as a horror title. That you thought it was a brag says something about how you interpret any ideation that doesn’t conform to what you are told to like. I feel sorry for you.