I’m old enough to remember what a big deal In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) was when the first test tube baby was born. Now, IVF is an entire industry, and often the only hope couples have in starting a family. Who would have thought that such a sterile process (no sex involved) would still pose important questions surrounding family and biology? Questions are asked and answered in Donna Marvin-Platt’s documentary, Missed Conceptions.
The subject of the documentary is Marvin-Platt herself. In the 1960s, her mother was artificially inseminated, but the filmmaker did not learn this until she turned 30. Trying to reconcile this revelation with a strange relationship she had with the father who raised her, Marvin-Platt decides to embark on a journey to find her biological father, the donor.
Through 20 years of searching and rummaging through records with the help of a 23andMe search, Marvin-Platt was able to locate her biological father. Sadly, her father had already passed, but she was able to piece together his life through interviews with his friends, cousins, and acquaintances. Marvin-Platt learned her father was a doctor, an artist, and a humanitarian who one day decided to donate his sperm and never thought twice about it.
“…her mother was artificially inseminated, but the filmmaker did not learn this until she turned 30.”
Throughout Missed Conceptions we learn that Marvin-Platt wasn’t the only child produced by the same man. Yes, she has four half-sisters. Here, she goes on a deep dive to not only fill in the familial gaps in her life but also talk about the experiences of her half-sisters, who were in the same position as her, along with individuals who woke up one day to find they had an unknown sibling or cousin. She also gives voice to the doctor-conceived community. We learn that it is an “innate human desire to want to know where we come from and who we come from.”
Not being in the doctor-conceived community, it’s easy to see IVF as a quick way to have a baby. Because it’s an entirely consensual and private process, one might assume that you go through it, and a baby simply appears—no questions asked. Like adoption, it’s not as easy as that. As much as you’d think a child wouldn’t care about that single gamete that created her life, there is that itch that must be scratched…where did I come from? More importantly, why it matters?
As scientific as Missed Conceptions gets, most of Marvin-Platt’s conversations are about identity and family. The process of finding one’s donor is complicated. By law, many donor-conceived children have been denied access to the biological father’s identity. Then, when you find them, what is the nature of that relationship between the child and the newly found donor? As the film states, “One question begets another and yet another.” It’s not surprising, but it’s always about money.
Nothing in the documentary is easy to answer or explain. What I like about Missed Conceptions is that it asks all the right questions in its attempt to speak on behalf of the donor-conceived. Of course, no two situations are ever the same.
"…it asks all the right questions..."
