This month’s Independent Exposure program has a nice selection of goodies. There’s scrambled porn, bothersome squirrels, and the highly anticipated release of a DVD that would be funny if it was actually released. Basically, there’s something for the whole family.
Fireplace Redux ^ ****1/2 ^ Directed by Jeffrey Hands
It crackles, sizzles, pops, and this advertisement for it is amusing. It’s the special edition DVD of……Fireplace!!! That’s right, friends! The famous and beloved fireplace video has now taken the form of a special edition DVD that includes audio commentary by director Mc V, deleted scenes, and scenes that were too hot for “Fireplace”. In an age where nearly all filmed material goes into the DVD format, this is not only funny, but it doesn’t seem unreasonable.
My TV Hates Me ^ **** ^ Directed by Thomas Muller
So you come home, tired as hell from a day of meaningless work, where you took orders from a boss that you swear is not of this Earth. You turn on the TV and there are all your beloved 5,618,329 channels. Only problem is: THE PORN CHANNEL’S NOT WORKING. OH GOD! That means there’s no chance of seeing “Jenny Makes Out with Cathy…and Beverly and Teri and Sarah” (Is that porn or good art?). At least that’s the way that Thomas Muller looks at it where various graphics of TVs flip through so many channels that are working fine, except the porno. I’ll bet this scenario is familiar to many of us.
Deep Dye Red ^ ***1/2 ^ Directed by Patricia Pinsker
You might see this as nothing more than someone dyeing a cloth completely red. I see this as a big hearty “f**k you” to that annoying OxiClean guy on TV. Let’s give him the result of the cloth shown in this short and see if he can get THAT out.
Famous Crimes of Passion ^ ***1/2 ^ Directed by Chris Spears
We’ve got three stories here about three people who committed crimes of passion. One of these stories involves Lady Alexandria, who falls in love with Thomas. Soon enough, she finds him with the milkmaid and that’s it for poor Thomas. The other two are just as good.
Always Sergej ^ *** ^ Directed by Stefan Weinert
In a workplace cafeteria, a German woman complains about a guy named Sergej, but when Sergej comes around, she slinks right near him. Her complaints probably can’t be taken seriously because a voice-over by the woman asks, “Did you see how Sergej watched me?”
Still Lover ^ *** ^ Directed by Amir Motlagh ^ Still photos of a hot woman doing various things run during this short, while a male voiceover describes this woman. Apparently, he is, or was, in love with her. Or is she just his major fantasy for now? Either way, he doesn’t do such a bad job in describing who she is and what her quirks are. That can be hard to do, depending on the woman.
Insatiable ^ ***1/2 ^ Directed by Irina Goundortseva
Holy sh…is that what I think it is? If you’ve got a dirty mind (like me), it may very well be just that. That red thing does pulsate and thrust in and out, so just leave it up to your imagination. The ending, however, may just have you wondering what the hell you were thinking.
Earthquake ^ **** ^ Directed by James Brett
An earthquake begins and all across California, bobble-head dolls are shaking around and laughing their a***s off, or so it seems. This includes two cops, two doctors and a bobblehead that kinda sorta looks like Janet Reno.
Feuerhaus (Firehouse) ^ *** ^ Directed by Barbel Neubauer
Plants and stones are the participants here, where they have been exposed on film stock by a flashlight, creating a really neat animated effect. Even at five minutes, it is a bit too long and starts to feel redundant by minute four.
The Summer House ^ **** ^ Directed by Joel Sadilek
Damn those pesky squirrels! There’s the Planters peanut squirrels, and also the duo on the Geico commercial that relish in casuing auto accidents. In “The Summer House”, the squirrel’s pissed that the owner of a very nice house has rented it out to yet another tenant, a writer who’s looking for peace and quiet to pen a book that he received an advance for. This isn’t going to happen if the squirrel has anything to do with it and it all begins with a lawnmower “mysteriously” starting up. The use of black and white in a few scenes is distracting, despite the fact that it may have been used to provide a starkness to some of the scenes.
Blender: Rotation Test 1-3 **** ^ Directed by Rob Tyler
You gotta love the blender. Without it, who knows how many alcoholic concoctions might have been lost? The victims of blenders in this one include green peas with pearl onions and strawberries, used for blending what looks like a real kick-a*s shake. We also get a look inside the blender when its blades are whirring, mixing up stuff.
Dreams California ^ *** ^ Directed by Niels Post
A female cigarette sings about all that makes cigarette smoking cool and then sings about the dangers too. That wasn’t much my concern though, because I was just taken by the cigarette drummer. That’s one stoned cigarette, who also looks like a distant cousin of Beaker from the Muppets.
Whizeewig ^ ****1/2 ^ Directed by Chihcheng Peng
Oh man, this is incredibly cool! Footage of various parts of San Francisco reveal some new views, thanks to the imagination of Chihcheng Peng. For example, the sections of a building actually move apart and come together later on, while the double yellow stripes on a street slither like a snake for a brief moment.
Mr. Slow Burn in “Drinking Problem” ^ ****1/2 ^ Directed by Colin Graham
All things considered, I’d say this is just as bad as coming home after a hard day and finding scrambled porn even though you actually subscribed to the damn channel. Mr. Slow Burn just wants a drink and things are not going well at all for him. The bank’s about to close and he’s driving along with the slips needed to take out money, all the while daydreaming about the many martinis he will consume to get the bitch of a day out of his mind. He hits traffic and eventually gets to the bank, and has trouble parking. Then the problems really grow from there. It just goes to show you how the human race can really suck sometimes.

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