How To Get Girls Image

How To Get Girls

By Joshua Speiser | August 14, 2018

After five years away, Ben returns to town. Apparently, base life in Antarctica must have come with a compulsory gym membership as Ben is now a tall, buff, bonafide hottie. Oddly, puberty seems to have missed a step in that he is totally uninterested girls while remaining fixated upon his earlier childhood dream of getting into Comicon. Zach, however, sees his newly returned chick magnet friend as his meal ticket to “get some p***y.” Cue the transformation scene and, before you can say Clueless, Ben and a newly coiffed/attired Zach are making the rounds on the local high school party circuit on the path to their Valhalla of teen gatherings: blonde alpha girl Kimberly Summer’s vaunted pool party. Yet, despite Zach’s constant hectoring, all Ben wants is to fulfill his childhood dream of making it into Comicon. Will Zach abandon his longtime friend in his quest to get laid? Will Stan Lee actually make an appearance in this low budget American Pie ripoff? And is that actually dag-nasty porn star Ron Jeremy making an appearance at a teen pool party? (Ew.)

“…I needed to take a shower after sitting through all 93 minutes of this flick…”

While genuinely funny at parts, I felt like I needed to take a shower after sitting through all 93 minutes of this flick, even with its reach-for-redemption final act. Unfortunately, the writers/directors decided to make the ill fated choice to cast all the young women/girls in the film as (1) stalker-y would-be paramours, (2) half nekkid lipstick lesbians in full make-out mode, and (3) ice-cold untouchables to be manipulated into bed. Apparently, character development for anyone without a penis exceeded Dorani/Fox’s scripting superpowers. In one hopeful scene, though, the filmmakers did try to subvert things a when one of Zach’s would be conquests turns the tables on him by convincing him to don lingerie/tuck in his junk. But even this joke lands with a faintly homophobic thud.   

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